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Spoons Offline
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My mother (again)... - January 18th 2011, 07:29 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Not sure if this is the right category...

I basically have to have a doctor's appointment before February or I will not be allowed to return to school until I get one (rules for 9th graders is usually to have one before high school starts but I couldn't have one then). It's icy out today and school was canceled, and so was the doctor's appointment I had set up with my regular physician. My mother called to get a new appointment and apparently I had to have a different doctor because mine wasn't available. This made me angry and I ended up arguing with her over it.
Basically we yelled a lot and when she asked who I thought I was, I responded with "Me." At this point, she called me a nobody and after some more arguing, she grabbed my arm and said I was acting like a little bitch. I even asked her if because I was a nobody, I could just go die now, but she didn't respond to that. I felt like I wanted to be dead at that moment if I was a nobody, because apparently she wouldn't care if I died or not because I was just a nobody. I SH and ended up cutting up my side.
Later she came in and apologized but it still kind of hurt.
I get mad at my mom a lot though and sometimes I feel like I really hate her. What do I do?
   
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Re: My mother (again)... - January 18th 2011, 07:59 PM

I am so, so sorry that this happened to you, over something miniscule. Nothing that you said, or say justifies the actions of your mother. Please remember that you ARE someone. Everyone has a purpose in this life. I truly believe that. Even if your mom can't see how great you are, others will. It's natural to want the love and affection from your mom, but if she isn't giving you what you want (Emotionally), it may mean finding another source of support. Whether that be friends, teachers, or another relative. Is there anyone that can be supportive for you?

As for your mother, maybe she has something going on within herself that has nothing to do with you. Have you tried talking to her in a calm manner, explaining how she makes you feel? if you feel as though that will escalade into a fight, try writing her a letter, or emailing her. This way you can get all that you want to say out, and have time to think about what you actually want to say. And once she recieves said letter, she can go about how she wants to handle the situation. As far as I am concerned, what she is doing to you is verbal and emotional abuse. Which is not ok.

I am sorry you didn't get the doctor you wanted, but if you have to do it to return to school, then you aren't left with many alternatives. Who knows, maybe this doctor will be better. You could try to go to that appointment, and at any time you feel uncomfortable, you can ask them to please stop, and go from there. In the future, when you and your mom are communicating, you both should try to remain calm and collected. I know that can be tough, as it seems to me that you both do't see eye-to-eye. That's fine. We don't need to agree with our parents. You can set the bar by explaining why you feel the way that you do. If she retaliates with negative comments and behavior, then remain calm. Try to remove yourself from the scene. It could help.

I hope I was helpful for you.
Take care.
PM me if you ever need anything<3


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Re: My mother (again)... - January 20th 2011, 07:07 PM

I am so sorry about that. In some ways I can relate and completely understand. My mom and I don't get along at all and she has told me she has no respect for me and is disappointed in me. But she has never told me I'm a nobody. I really am sorry for you. If you ever need anything or want to talk, I'm here for you. Feel free to PM or IM me!
   
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