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How do I solve this problem? - January 30th 2011, 11:25 PM

The people who know me well say that I'm one of the most likeable people they know, but they say that, before they knew me, they were scared to approach me. They said I look 'intense' and intimidating, but I don't feel that way at all. When I'm by myself, I don't just sit there with a goofy smile on my face, but I don't avoid eye contact, either. I just act myself. They say it's my eyes or something. Something that can't be helped. Whatever it is, it's preventing me from making any friends!

I make sure to keep the open body language and do everything by the book, like all the how to articles say, but no matter what, people do not approach. They may watch from afar, but when it comes to talking to me, they just can't! Ugh.


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Re: How do I solve this problem? - January 30th 2011, 11:44 PM

It kind of sounds like you're going to have to be the one to approach people. Sometimes there can be something intimidating about people who wait to be approached rather than approaching. If you be the one to initiate the first conversation, then they will realize that you're not a scary person after all. Not everyone is the best at approaching people, but eventually you will meet people who aren't afraid to be the first to talk to you. But until then, if you find someone you might want to be friends with, don't be shy and approach them first.





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Re: How do I solve this problem? - January 31st 2011, 04:34 AM

I have the same problem! Apparently, it's because my "neutral" expression isn't "friendly" enough. Unfortunately, I have to agree with Amanda - you may have to do the approaching, vs. waiting for others to come to you.





   
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Smile Re: How do I solve this problem? - January 31st 2011, 03:59 PM

Often people are quite shy when they haven't communicated with a person before. It may be not you but them! Start by a small smile and then start a conversation with them about anything. The weather, the latest band, TV programmes and just start a conversation. It should then fall into place.
   
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Re: How do I solve this problem? - January 31st 2011, 06:11 PM

Thank you guys! It does seem like that's what I'm going to have to do. I feel better just knowing that it happens the same to other people.


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Re: How do I solve this problem? - February 1st 2011, 05:18 AM

If someone is a really gorgeous person, or seems like the type of person who someone else is afraid they might not match up to than they will be intimidated.

Perhaps you just have really intense expressioned eyes that give of a sense of not being afraid, which makes people feel like they have to be unlike themselves, and cool.

You should just go up to the person, and say hello in a very friendly way, and say it with your eyes to.
   
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