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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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hockeystar945 Offline
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Name: Chels
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Question Family Issues - February 1st 2011, 04:39 PM

My parents are divorced. About three years ago my brother left home, he now lives with my dad. I live with my mom and step dad. My brother left because he got caught for lying and cheating in school. Normally no consequences would have taken place, but this was a bigger issue thea normal. My step dad took control of the situation and my mom sat back and agreed with the punishment. My brother was, -and still is- addicted to his xbox. So when my parents decided to take away my brother's xbox for two weeks, my brother left, and my dad came and picked him up. He's lived with my dad now for three years. He hasn't talked to anyone on my mom, or step dad's side of the family. With an exception of my cousins recently on my mom's side. My mom is trying everything she can to run into him. But everytime she does, she just gets hurt again. My mom has become depressed, and sad all the time. She cries all the time as well. My dad isn't doing anything to help my mom's situation, and my step mom doesn't help either. Now, everytime either one of my parents bring up the topic, the always say, "we're not putting you in the middle.." etc. but I feel like they do. I now feel as if it's my fault that my brother still hasn't spoken to my mom. But my brother and I are pretty close, and he trusts me, anyone who brings up my mom he thinks is againest him, has it out for him and he doesn't trust them. I don't want this to happpen to me. I don't know what to do, I just want my brother to talk to my mom so that she can stop being depressed and sad all the time because she doesn't deserve this. I don't know what to do..

Last edited by Gaia; February 1st 2011 at 05:16 PM. Reason: Moved to Friends and Family [:
   
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Re: Family Issues - February 1st 2011, 05:11 PM

Hey Chels, I'm sorry to hear that this has happened. My family recently went through something similar. Based on what you've said (and there might be more to it) the punishment he received seems reasonable and if that's the case then he's just stayed mad for a long time about something that is a big deal to him. I know you want your family back to the way it was and that will probably happen eventually. You can't make them talk to each other, it's your brother's choice to avoid speaking to your mom. Don't let yourself get put in the middle, what's going on is between the two,or three of them even though it affects you too. You can still stay close to him and just agree not to talk about your mom around him. Hope this helped.


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Re: Family Issues - February 5th 2011, 05:50 AM

If I were you, I would approach your brother in a very sincere way, and tell him what it's like at home at the moment with your mom. You mentioned he turns against anyone who mentions your mom, but you're not anyone, you're his brother. Tell him that you're bringing this up because it involves you too, and your mom being depressed is negatively affecting you. Hopefully your brother isn't too closed in, and at least listens to your plea. Hope all goes well!


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