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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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youronion Offline
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Abandoned - February 28th 2009, 07:45 PM

I found out recently that my father is having an affair, divorcing my mom, and leaving her and I to be with his new lover. For the first few weeks I was in complete denial, and now it's just really starting to hit me hard. I've never felt more angry, hurt, sad, abandoned in my entire life. And i'm at a loss for words what to do. To make matters worse my boyfriend broke up with me shortly after all of this happened. Now i'm feeling like I can't trust anyone, because i'm scared they are going to leave me. I've never felt as weak and vunerable as I do now. I can't help hate and miss my Dad. And I can't stop thinking about how much I wish I was still with my ex. Please help... if you have anything to say. Thanks guys.
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Re: Abandoned - March 2nd 2009, 11:40 PM

Hi there,

I am so sorry that this happened. I understand what you are going through right now and I know that it's really tough for you. It's the hardest thing to be abandoned by the people you love.

Your mom still cares about you, though. Keep that in mind. She didn't ask your dad to get up and leave either. It would probably be a good idea to have a talk with her and just get these feelings off your chest. It always feels better to talk about these things.

Make sure that no matter how much you are hurting you do not push other people away. Don't be afraid that they will leave you. Your mom cares about you and so do your friends. I'm sure they wont be as fickle.

I'm really sorry that this happened. I'd just suggest to talk things over with the people around you and keep yourself busy to get your mind off it.


The great artists of our time are the ones who created something timeless. But it was never them defining it that way.
Everyone has a story. What's yours?
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niente_ Offline
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Re: Abandoned - March 4th 2009, 09:59 PM

It's also important to remember that none of this is your fault. Never blame yourself for anything, because I'm sure the last thing your dad wanted to do was hurt you

Sometimes it's better to forget how you feel
and remember what you deserve

S. M ... still in my heart, forever
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addi Offline
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Re: Abandoned - March 4th 2009, 10:42 PM

My parents divorced when I was nine. I was very confused about why it happened, I blamed myself for years. It wasn't until I was fourteen that I realized it wasn't my fault.

Something you should remember is,

Neither of your parents are leaving you,
Your dad made a life choice, that he thought would make him happy.
It's ok to be mad, it's ok to cry, it helps to make us stronger.

And I'm sure your mom feels just as miserable as you do. Talk with her about it.

Your boyfriend breaking up with you was just bad timing, don't let it get to you.

You shouldn't feel like you can't trust anyone, because you might end up not trusting the person you need to trust the most.
And trust me on this, if you make that mistake, you can't ever fix it.

Tell your dad how you feel, tell your mom, and if possible tell your ex. (so long as he isn't mad at you and saying hateful things)

A woman ran through a town carring
a torch and a bucket of water
when asked what she was doing
she replied
' I am going to take this bucket of water and
pour it over the flames of hell,
and then i am going to use this torch
to burn down the gates of paradise
so that people will not love God
for want of heaven, or fear of hell
but because he IS God.'
-exert from "Looking for Alaska"
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