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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Friends - Conflicting - February 5th 2011, 01:53 PM

OKay, I really just need someone to lay out all my options for me to be honest!!

Basically, I wanted to go to London in May for the weekend with a group of friends and meet up with my long-distance boyfriend.

Here's the trouble...

1) I'm only allowed to go, if there is an equal amount of males/females.
2) Two of my friends were kind of 'together' - but now they're not. And the male is refusing to even consider coming if the female is coming - because it would be awkward - which to be fair it would.

So now I'm confused as to what to do. I really want to go to London, but only with my original group of friends - no new people - but that means, we don't have enough females to go. AND, that means telling this other female that she can't come. She's been really depressed recently, and I don't want to hurt her anymore, but the fact she would make it SO awkward is really starting to piss me off.

My best-friend keeps saying he'll organize it, but he never gets round to it. And, I need to make a decision soon about what I'm doing so that we can book train tickets and find accommodation etc.

So do I...

1) Tell this female that she can't come, and risk the friendship
2) Let her come, and hurt my closer male friend (He probably won't come)
3) Cancel the whole trip

I mean, the only thing I can logically think of, is to invite an old female friend of the group and say we decided we want to get the old 'gang' together again. AND, then organize something else with my other friend?


-- Sorry if this is long. Its been on my mind, and I really want to get things sorted/booked/planned etc now.

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Re: Friends - Conflicting - February 5th 2011, 04:46 PM

I dont think you should get the whole trip cancelled out. I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST TELL YOUR TWO FRIENDS TO GET PAST WHATEVER THEY ARE GOING THROUGH AND JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME. Thats what i think you should do (:
I hope i helped some.

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Re: Friends - Conflicting - February 8th 2011, 12:12 AM

Hey, Claire!

I'd talk to your best friend about what's going on. Explain that he needs to make a decision in regards to those two friends by [date]... otherwise, you'll have to take over the planning and talk to those two friends yourself. Since your best friend is supposedly organizing the entire event, it doesn't seem fair for you to pick and choose who gets to come and who doesn't.

Honestly, it may be awkward... but can't these two friends put their feelings aside and enjoy their other friends' company? If they can't, then that's their problem, not yours. Let them know they can do whatever they'd like, but you personally would LOVE to have BOTH of them along. =)

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conflicting, friends

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