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carrot Offline
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thoughts on hugs :) - February 12th 2011, 06:51 AM

(does this belong on this forum? i wasn't sure where to put it...)

i've been thinking about it lately, and i was just curious as to how everyone feels about giving or receiving hugs. myself, i actually love hugs and am quite a fan of physical affection, but i think even the simplest hugs should be meaningful and i usually only like to share them with people i really trust. ironically, i'm actually not really a "huggy" person myself, nor am i physically clingy in any way. i pretty much never reject hugs when other people try to hug me (and i always give real hugs, not that one-arm crap where the other person acts like they are afraid to touch you), but i usually don't initiate them myself.

even with my best pal, we hardly ever hug unless, like, the other person is crying, haha. we've actually grown particularly close over the past couple of months and we have had some great talks lately and have been very open with each other, but we still almost never hug when meeting or parting. sometimes after one of our talks, i'll even feel a hug coming on to the point where i'm almost being pulled toward her by some magnetic force or something (cheesy, i know), but neither of us actually initiates it, so we just kinda stand there smiling at each other until one of us says bye and goes to their car. haha. we both hug our other friends when they try to hug us so i dont know why its so weird between the two of us. i'm thinking that for whatever reason, she probably feels as compelled yet awkward as i do about it and thinks that i'm the one who has something against hugging her.. i decided that i'm going to talk to her about it next time i see her just to clear things up, cause hugs are great and i don't have a clue why we avoid them with eachother

sooo, anywho, i was just curious how ya'll feel about hugging. do you like hugs? dislike them? do they have a special meaning to you? are there certain people who always try to hug you and you really just hate it? do you have any friends like my pal i described earlier who you just have trouble hugging for some reason?


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Re: thoughts on hugs :) - February 12th 2011, 07:14 AM

In my family, hugs are always given to other family members and to people whom you know quite well. If my friends want to give me a hug, particularly the ladies, I'm generally fine with that. I don't often initiate the hug to females because I've seen and experienced it go wrong, whereby I would attempt to give a friendly hug to a girl who likes hugs just to find out although she's in a good mood, she wasn't that receptive of hugs at that time. I've never hugged a single one of my male friends and don't quite care for male friends giving me a hug, I'd rather shake their hand, pat them on the back or whatever else. Male family members however are different and I'm willing to give and receive the hugs.

I view hugs as something done to show a strong emotional connection between someone whom you know quite well or who is family. For example, when I meet up with some family, we all greet by hugs and leave by hugs also. If someone in the family brings along a friend, which is fine, that friend doesn't get a hug, instead they'll probably get a handshake or not even that but they will still get a verbal greeting and departure.

If certain people, including family try to keep on hugging over and over, that does become annoying and nobody in my family cares for that. Females friends who give multiple hugs I'm fine with but not to the point where it's so often they're practically attached to me.

If a friend cries, even best friends, they get no hugs. None of my friends give hugs in any of those situations either. In family, you may get a hug for that.


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Re: thoughts on hugs :) - February 12th 2011, 07:26 AM

I like hugs. I like to give hugs and receive hugs. We are a very huggy culture when you meet someone for the first time you hug them, one thing I did notice is American people tend not to do that I learnt it the hard way not every culture is a “touchy” culture. I really don’t mind getting a hug from anyone, hugs are good I see nothing wrong with hugging sometimes I will go to my friends and just hug them randomly Family members always get a hug. I don’t see hugging as a sign of intimacy, I see it as a sign of caring or just greeting, being polite sometimes.


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Re: thoughts on hugs :) - February 12th 2011, 07:28 AM

Hugs are good. I don't like kisses though.


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Re: thoughts on hugs :) - February 12th 2011, 06:39 PM

I think this is in the perfect forum, as family members and friends are generally the people we hug the most. =)

I'm not a fan of "hello" and "good-bye" hugs from acquaintances or casual friends. It feels like a ritual that you do simply for the sake of being polite/appearing friendly, and I don't like to feel obligated to return/receive the hug. =P I LOVE getting hugs from family members and friends, however, and I'll initiate them at least half of the time. I'll give hugs at random, or when I'm really happy to see someone, or when I'm sad to be leaving someone (see, THOSE are genuine "hello" and "good-bye" hugs in my opinion).

I do have a few friends who are difficult to hug - then again, they don't like to be touched by ANYONE, so I don't take it personally. They'll receive the rare, sideways-pat-on-the-shoulder type of hug. If I come at them from the front, they'll accept the hug - but they'll push their butts away from me so we're not really in contact with each other, save for our arms around each others' shoulders. xD It's pretty awkward!

Which prompts me to ask a question in return: what kinds of hugs do you like to give and receive? I'm a fan of full-body hugs, but I've seen some people who do the sideways hug, which always seems awkward to me. Then there are people who just lean forward and stick their butts out, so they're just patting each other on the shoulders... even more awkward!





   
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Re: thoughts on hugs :) - February 13th 2011, 04:24 PM

I like hugs.

Though on my moms side as kids everyone was always told, give so and so a hug, so it's always came off phony.

I don't hug people as much now as I used to when I was a kid, and sometimes hugs are awkward, like too much patting on the back. And some people take forever to let go.


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Re: thoughts on hugs :) - February 13th 2011, 04:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by carrot View Post
i pretty much never reject hugs when other people try to hug me (and i always give real hugs, not that one-arm crap where the other person acts like they are afraid to touch you), but i usually don't initiate them myself
I know what you mean about the "one-arm crap" If my friends are going to hug me I want a proper hug, but some of them don't go for that, I guess because they're worried about how I'll react. Or because I smell. One of the two.

I love hugs, if they're from people I know and care about. It's one of the nicest feelings in the world when it's from the right person.

The only kind of hug I don't like is when my face gets squished against somebody's arm...being the shortie of course...




   
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