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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy Arguments...everyones worked up - February 16th 2011, 05:10 PM

for the past few days things have been getting heated in my group at school. there's only 5 of us in this group and we're all quite good friends. but recently everyone seems to be annoyed at eachother. people complain about one of them because shes annoying, and yeah she is but thats part of what makes her her, and i love that about her, she's always so happy and shes funny too, but it seems itss getting to much for people n now everyones annoyed with her and its bothering her.
and today i snapped at her too. this was because everyone was shouting at eachother, and i mean all five of us were at each others throats and it was horrible. i got moody as i do when im arguing with people and then things were just awkward for a bit. but i honestly dont know why we all got so worked up over nothing. i dont like fighting with them but it seems like we're all seperating into smaller groups, which i dont want to happen because i like things the way they are. i just want the arguing and fighting to stop, i want people to be happy so i can be happy too, because all of it's bringing me down. i think school has a lot to do with it because its pissing off a lot of people with the teaching style and amount of time we're being MADE to give up. i think the stress is making a lot of this happen, but its just hard to deal with.


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Re: Arguments...everyones worked up - February 17th 2011, 03:30 AM

It sounds like you really care about your group being happy together and working as a team. You're truthful enough to give us a somewhat unbiased opinion of the situation. As long as there is someone out there willing to repair the relationship problems with friends, then there is a chance things can be better.

okay, the friend who's "really happy all the time", does she give space for her friends to express other emotions other than happiness? For example, if another one of your friends had a death in the family, would the "happy" friend force her sense of happiness onto others and not let them grief?

and today i snapped at her too. this was because everyone was shouting at eachother
Why did you shout at the "happy" friend? Was it really because everyone else was shouting and so you had to join in and shout at someone?
   
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Re: Arguments...everyones worked up - February 17th 2011, 05:51 AM

Usually when one or two people begin shouting, the rest join in because they get heated up by what was said or they want to say something but the only way to be heard is by shouting over someone. People don't like being shouted at so in return they shout some more and eventually it's just one massive cluster fuck that snowballs until it ends somehow. When you shouted at the happy person, I take it to be that you weren't starting the shouting but you got heated up or wanted to simmer things down.

If you're all good friends then hopefully the shouting matches can be put behind. Since you say school is stressful to all of you, when it comes to patching things up, remember that they were already on edge before the shouting match. They can go their separate ways into their own different social groups but that doesn't mean they all have to sever the friendships. If the shouting was about staying together, it's quite feasible. For example, I friends in many different social groups but don't know much of my friend's friends, yet when I see him/her, the friendship is still there, it's not severed.


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