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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Dedalus Offline
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my father - February 20th 2011, 10:59 AM

I can't wait for the day when I can just pack my bags and leave my family for good. I live away from them most of the time at university, but I come home every so often and this weekend I came home for my 21st birthday.

The problems are primarily with my father. He thinks he's funny with all the jokes he tells. And they're personal jokes like constantly telling you you have big feet or ears or bullshit like that. I've never found them very funny and I've always made it clear and I end up being the brunt of a lot of them and I get reall fucking pissed off.

He's also very sensitive. It doesn't take a lot to make him cross. I didn't tidy my room once and he flew off the fucking handle. He also threatens to hit me as far back as I can remember a lot of the time when we have our arguments - and he had when I was younger. He told me he wanted to kill me when I was about 13. I have no respect for him and I don't know how he can expect to have any. I told him that today.

He just doesn't seem to care about me at all. I can't remember a time he ever looked after me or ever said anything about my achievements. Yet he'll constantly remind me of my shortcomings. I wouldn't turn to him for help, because he'd begrudge it. He seems to begrudge everything he gives me, constantly mentioning money for university and even the dinners he cooks.

Today, on the morning of my 21st birthday he corners me in the living room and starts giving out to me about saying 'I want to go back to fucking Dublin' after he had started one of his stupid fucking repetitive jokes yesterday. And when I opened the cards yesterday with the money he was giving out about me saying 'I'll spend it all on beer.' Jesus fucking Christ he can't take a joke and he just seems to love to give out to me.

Maybe it is all down to me, because I am a very difficult person. I wouldn't describe myself as selfish, but he constantly does. But when I was younger I used to care about him a bit, he is my father. But now I don't. I really don't care about him. I might even hate him, because he made my teenage years so difficult. I can't turn to him for anything. I just hate coming home to my family because I'll have to see him. And he brings the absolute worst out of me. I mean, when I come home and have to start dealing with him I start becoming morbidly depressed. I mean, if I had to stay here longer than 2 weeks I would quite seriously kill myself, because of him.
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Re: my father - February 21st 2011, 07:43 AM

You may be "difficult" now, but what about when you were younger? I have a feeling that most of this is due to your father's personality, not yours. I am truly sorry to hear that you're having a hard time dealing with him and being at home as a result. Other than encouraging you to get out of the house and spend time with friends, hang out with other family members when your father isn't around, etc., I'm not sure what else to say. It sounds like he's just one of THOSE parents, if you know what I mean. =/ Just because you're biologically related doesn't mean you're going to get along. Stay strong, and start planning for your return to school. Know that you are NOT a failure, and things will improve once you leave again.

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