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KoKoEm March 2nd 2009 01:54 AM

Not What I Expected
Well, my mom's in one of those "have to go to church" phases. Honestly, I thought this was good at first. I thought, maybe this means less drinking? Maybe she'll actually do laundry again? There were a lot of maybe's going through my mind, but the main one was the less drinking.
I think that was hopeful wishing.
I was told to organize my clothes multiple times today and I figured, "Yay! Finally! Clean clothes!" But it's about 8 hours later and my clothes are in the three different piles she asked me to put them in earlier.
I asked her while she was making dinner if there was enough time for me to shower. She said yes, so I showered. I got out, and everything went as normal. I was still thinking hopefully, that she wasn't as drunk as normal and all. But when we sat down to start eating she had forgotten to finish the mashed potatoes. So she went and finished them and gave them to us. (Note: She's on a diet, where in this "phase" she isn't "allowed" to have carbohydrates) She came in and sat down with the saddest look on her face and continuously said, "I screwed up so much. I had mashed potatoes" and started talking about how much of a failure she is and all. Her boyfriend and I kept our mouths shut because anything we could possibly say would be wrong and have her mad at us for the rest of the night. I also realized at this point how drunk she was and that going to church hadn't helped at all.
After dinner, she left (by herself) to go tanning because she "has to" go tanning every night. The tanning place is not far from here, and she was gone for an hour. After coming back, she came into my room, freaking out because she didn't believe that I had showered earlier.
I guess the whole reason for this "rant" is because I'm so tired of this. I just want it to be over with. I don't care what has to happen. I don't want to have to deal with the drinking, having to worry all the time and getting in trouble for not doing something that I definitely did. I just... I don't know.

SimplyComplex March 2nd 2009 02:09 AM

Re: Not What I Expected
Hey Emily,

I'm really sorry about the situation. I know it can't even be close to easy to deal with. It isn't a good way to live. You deserve to come home and feel safe in your own house. Maybe you and your moms boyfriend can get a hold of an alcoholics group in your area. In Canada, we have Alcoholics Anonymous. Maybe you two can check something like that out? If there isn't anything like that in your area, try getting her boyfriend to discuss a counselors appointment. There are many support groups out there for alcoholics or heavy drinkers. If you do decide to confront your mom about this, I suggest doing it when she's sober and in a fairly good mood. Also, don't do it alone. Try and do it with her boyfriend and any other family that might know or be affected by it. Having more people can help much more. Take care of yourself and try not to let what she says get in your head. She isn't all there when she's drunk. If you ever need anything, feel free to get a hold of me. I'll always reply. :]

~Stay strong and have faith.

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