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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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complc8ed Offline
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Need a teen mother's perspective - March 2nd 2009, 02:16 AM

Back-story first, one of my best friends in the world and I had been having some rocky times and especially after high school we started drifting peacefully away, just loosing touch but not fighting.

Then she got pregnant and everything changed. She started treating all of us like shit. No one could say anything to her without her getting pissed and stop talking to whomever said the wrong thing. We were all walking on eggshells, afraid to say anything that would set her off. She was always bickering with someone. I finally stood up to her and she basically blew up, we had a huge fight, said horrible things to each other, and the friendship has died. We're over. I can't say that I'm sorry but I have some questions.

I know how she must be feeling. I get that being a pregnant teenager can be devastating and hard to handle, hormones are going everywhere, but wouldn't you want everyone you can to help support you. She is pushing everyone away. She has already lost two of us and is in the process of losing the third. She's hanging out with a horrible influence that none of us like, and still having sex (not with the father, he split) I guess what I am trying to ask is was I justified in letting the friendship go so easily or am I a horrible person for dumping my pregnant friend when she will need me eventually. Can she take any blame at all?
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Re: Need a teen mother's perspective - March 2nd 2009, 02:24 AM

You both are to blame. Pregnancy hormones can make you crazy out of your mind. I was pissed off my entire pregnancy. you need to be more forgiving, and she needs to think before she snaps off.

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Re: Need a teen mother's perspective - March 2nd 2009, 02:52 AM

I'm going to move this to Friends and Family as I think it fits better there. If anyone disagrees, feel free to either move it back or PM me.

In response to the OP: you're both to blame, as said. Wait until the pregnancy is over, and maybe then you could reconcile?

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Re: Need a teen mother's perspective - March 2nd 2009, 02:54 AM

Like Amber said; you are both to blame. Just do what you have to do. No one truly expects someone to stick around when they are being 80% more unreasonable than they have to be. If you do not want to be her friend anymore then don't feel obligated to be.

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Re: Need a teen mother's perspective - March 3rd 2009, 01:54 AM

i was a total witch during my pregnancy, hormones and such, write her a letter tell her the things you mentioned to us, the bad influence and that you are worried, tell her to take from it what she will and leave it at that
i had a similar fight with my best friend when we were 16 and she got pregnant, didnt end up talking to her again until we were well into our 20s

try not to take it personally sometimes especially in her situation it is very hard to sort through all the things that are going on school and boys and pregnant and then throw friends and family on top of it, even not being pregnant we all feel the preasure
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