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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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kiara Offline
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How do I apologize? - February 24th 2011, 12:17 AM

About a month ago me ans my boyfriend got caught being intimate. My boyfriend snuck into my house, and my mom heard and woke up. She started banging on my door, she slapped me as soon as I opened it. Enraged, she went to her room woke my dad up and took him to my room, he kicked my boyfriend out. After my boyfriend was gone, he asked me one question, ďis this how we raised you?Ē, I had absolutely no answer other than no, and he left.
My mom apologized for slapping me. I am still on total lock-down, I canít use the phone, my mom now picks me up after school, I canít stay after school for ANY activities. The worst part is that I havenít talked at all to my dad after the entire ordeal. My parents want me to apologize, and I do to, but it is hard. The day we got caught I did not eat the entire day from morning to night-time. That entire week, I had suddenly lost my hope, faith, even the will to live. I know I have to apologize, but for some reason I canít seem to find the strength.
I know that I made a mistake, given the opportunity to take it all back and do things right, I honestly wouldnít. I have grown stronger because of what I went through, I have learned so much, also... I learned to tell who really cared about me when I needed them most.
   
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Re: How do I apologize? - February 24th 2011, 01:17 AM

Welcome to TeenHelp! =D I'm going to move this thread to the "Friends and Family" forum, as it relates more to family than to relationships.

Apologizing is never easy, because it means setting aside your pride and admitting you were in the wrong. It can also be difficult because you may not know what to say, or how to go about showing you're sorry. Finally, dwelling on the mistake and beating yourself up (figuratively) isn't going to help you move forward.

So here is what I would suggest: write down what you want to say. It doesn't have to be lengthy. "I'm sorry for letting you down. Here is what I am going to do to show you I truly mean it. (Don't list too many ideas - just a few.) I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me." The next time you see both of your parents, pull out the piece of paper and ask if you could talk. Read what you've written, and before you know it, you'll have apologized out loud.

That's part one. Part two is actually following through - which, in this case, would mean following their rules and respecting their authority as parents. With time, you'll earn back their trust. =)





   
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Re: How do I apologize? - March 3rd 2011, 05:55 PM

Kiara,

Apologizing is very tough. It means showing a bit of vulnerability, and sucking up your pride. I always have had a hard time apologizing. I think it's going to be hard for your parents to trust you again. But eventually they will trust you again. I think that you should do things to show that they can start trusting your again. Help with chores around the house, or do all your home work. You need to keep communicating.

I'm going to have to argee with Robin and say that you should write them a letter. Admit to your wrong doing, say why you did what you did, what you've learned, and ask your parents what you can do to fix it. It seems like your grounding is your punishment. But it never hurts to ask them what you can do to get their trust again. Just be completely honest with them. Tell them the lesson that you learned. I'm sure you learned a big one too. You're a teenager, you're bound to make these sorts of mistakes. It's important that you bouce back from them in a mature way. :]

Best of Luck,
-Lyndsee


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