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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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amazing grace Offline
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is she worth it? - February 25th 2011, 09:08 PM

So this is about what happened to me and my really close friend. I haven't known her for very long..just like 5 months or so but we became friend really quick and i guess we both liked each other's company alot. Things were going great with us until last week when we suddenly started having arguments and all. So on tuesday, i was just playing around with her in school and i just pulled her hair for fun. I usually do it and its no big deal really. But suddenly she got so pissed with me and i was wondering what was wrong with her. It was strange and i thought she was probably just joking about it but even the next day she continued to be mad and i appologised to her a few times but she didnt want to forgive me..ok here i guess i made a mistake..im admitting it..i still didnt realise that she was serious and i was still playing around with her and i guess i was getting annyoing but im usually not the kind of person who is annoying..that was actually the first time in my life that annoyed someone. She got even mor pissed and she told me on facebook that i was extremely annoying and she didnt want me to be her friend anymore because of that.. i was like: WHHHHAAAATT??!! I mean...OMG!!! what was that.. then i appologised to her atleast a 100 times for wat i did cuz at that moment i didnt realise that i was annoying her..but she said she never was going to talk 2 me again..

and shes still not talking to me..I mean its such a small and stupid thing..we're not kids..we both are 17 years old..cant she just forgive me for that small thing?? she really hurt my feeling wen she told me that because I love her sooo much!!! ..i mean i dunno how to explain this but she means the WORLD to me!! i cared about her sooo much and she even knows that..she cared about me too..but what is this?? the next day in school i thought i was going to die without her but somehow i survived..ya that shows how much she means to me and i was with her through all the times wen she was getting over this guy who broke her heart and now she says such things to me..its so heartbreaking sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night crying because i miss her hugs soo much..but i dont even know if she deserves all this love..my friends tell me to leave her because shes not worth it and she cant treat me like this for such a simple thing and maybe they r right but its so hard for me to get over her cuz I LOVE HER SOO MUCH!! i know i sound obsessed and maybe i am...but what do u guys think? is she worth it??
   
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Re: is she worth it? - February 26th 2011, 01:11 PM

First of all, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I'm having some friend troubles right now too, and it's the hardest thing in the world to deal with. My advice is this: she's treating you like you're nothing, and no one should make you feel that way. You're loving someone who appears to not even care about you. Don't let her trample all over you... I would suggest moving on and finding a friend who really cares about your feelings. I know how hard it is... I'm doing the same thing right now. But to me, it's more worth it than trying to be with someone who just makes you feel bad. You could try one more time... but instead of saying sorry, talking about the whole thing and why she was so angry. But if that doesn't work, don't waste your time with her. You deserve better.
   
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Xineas Offline
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Re: is she worth it? - February 26th 2011, 10:01 PM

As strange as it sounds, it might be best to do nothing about it for a bit. It'll give you time to think about it and you'll give her some space and time to think about her actions.

You've been there for her during hard times, you care about her, but if she's a real friend, she would care about you just as much. It's up to her to show you if she does care about you, but it's okay for you to make the first move after thinking about it. After all, we don't want you guys to be unable to even look at each other whenever you meet...

On your part, you have to wonder if she really is a friend. Think back and just let it spin through your head. Has she ever been there for you? Do you feel like you can trust her? Is being her friend worth fighting for? These are all pretty tough questions, so it's fine if you can't answer them overnight.

Think, think, think, think, then act. Unless she's contacted you already, of course.

If you want to continue your friendship with her, let her know you want to meet up and talk. Tell her anything you want to tell her, be honest and be yourself, don't let her walk all over you, as sunkisses already mentioned, because that's far from friend behavior.

If you don't want to continue your friendship, the least you could try is ask her if she wants to sort things out, so that the both of you can stop wondering about the 'what-if's.





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