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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Question what do you think?? - March 3rd 2011, 11:36 PM

so this guy i know wants me to help him with his problems. He says he isnt confident in his appearance and has intamacy issues. I really think he is cute (im not attracted to him romantically tho). I keep telling him he looks good but he wont believe me. He wants me to take his picture and show it to all my girl friends and get their opinion on how he looks im thinking thats kinda a wierd idea to say the least... but anyways what should i say to help him? im not very good at this, i need help


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Re: what do you think?? - March 4th 2011, 07:27 AM

Jayme,

I think that you should show him that you think he is good looking, rather then just saying that he is cute. Actions speak louder then words. I would probably advise against showing his pictures to your friends for multiple reason. It can come across as desperate on his part, and it wouldn't even matter about his looks from that point on. Also, he should be boosting his own confidence, because that's where it counts the most. If you show his picture to girls, then it's going to come across as he not being confident, and confidence is attractive.

At this age, it's normal for people to have low self esteems. I would just keep encouraging him to get out there and talk to girls. Keep encouraging him that he looks good without overdoing it. However, if you do want to show the picture around, then by all means. Have at it. I just think that he could be learning a lesson in gaining confidence if he did these sorts of things himself. :]


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Re: what do you think?? - March 4th 2011, 04:07 PM

Heyy.

A lot of people have confidence issues at a young age, so this is usual. However, do keep reasuring him that he looks good (even though looking good isn't what matters most of the time) and that he should believe this and tell himself that too. I know just how hard it is to believe people when they say that you look good, and it is hard, but it does not mean that he can't convince himself that he isn't bad looking.

Often a good way to gain self esteem and confidence (I learnt this from a youtube video..) is to look in the mirror every day, and admire the things you personally like about yourself. While doing this, accept the things you are less happy with as only one part in amongst a lot of better ones. Tell him to try this, it might help him to see why you think he is cute.

I hope this helped a bit.


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