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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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LucyLouWho Offline
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My grandparents' marriage is falling apart. - March 3rd 2009, 03:15 AM

My grandmother has been so lonely and heartbroken lately. It's because my grandfather has openly admitted to her that he's no longer interested in kissing, hugging, or anything of that nature. He just doesn't do anything with her. Doesn't talk to her, ride in the car with her, or anything. He just... eats dinner at the same table. He goes to sleep in his recliner in the living room while she sleeps in the bed.

This all started last summer. Until then, they'd actually talk, kiss, and all that stuff. I don't know what happened.

I need to know what to tell my grandmother. Why is he acting like this? Is he going to come around? Just... What should I do? I hate watching her hurt like this.

He says that he still loves her, but he never really tells her. He's just not so interested anymore. My mom and I think that it's because he's getting older and is probably a bit... dysfunctional, if you know what I mean. But he has Viagra. Another possibility is a mid-life crisis type of thing. I'm not sure.

She tells me how much she'd like to go out to the movies with him or even just ride around with him like they used to. I hate seeing her like this. :[

Any advice is greatly appreciated.


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Re: My grandparents' marriage is falling apart. - March 3rd 2009, 03:18 AM

It's very disconcerting when two people who fell in love a very long time ago start questioning their relationship. Your poor grandmother. I'm sure your grandfather has a reason, but I'm not quite sure what. My guess is that he is suffering from some mild to moderate case of depression--a symptom is no longer being interested in the things one used to enjoy. If he still loves your grandmother like he says he does, perhaps it would benefit him to see a therapist about his feelings. Sex doesn't have to be the only thing to draw them together (although his dysfunction may cause him some embarrassment.)

I hope things all turn out well, for them and you.

Loads of love,
Emily


   
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Re: My grandparents' marriage is falling apart. - March 3rd 2009, 03:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turquoise View Post
It's very disconcerting when two people who fell in love a very long time ago start questioning their relationship. Your poor grandmother. I'm sure your grandfather has a reason, but I'm not quite sure what. My guess is that he is suffering from some mild to moderate case of depression--a symptom is no longer being interested in the things one used to enjoy. If he still loves your grandmother like he says he does, perhaps it would benefit him to see a therapist about his feelings. Sex doesn't have to be the only thing to draw them together (although his dysfunction may cause him some embarrassment.)

I hope things all turn out well, for them and you.

Loads of love,
Emily
But that's the thing. He's not going to go to a doctor or therapist or any place like that. It's just... not him to do that.


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Re: My grandparents' marriage is falling apart. - March 3rd 2009, 03:24 AM

It must be hard to see someone you care about so unhappy, but in this situation there really isn't much for you or your mother to fix. A personal issue like this really should be settled by the two people involved. If you want to help your grandmother, listen to her. You may not be able to offer her back the relationship she wants with her husband, but you definitely can offer your love and support.
   
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