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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Maverick. Offline
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Freeloading Friends? - March 16th 2011, 08:20 AM

Have any of you had freeloading friends? Not to long ago, I had some "friends", who would only hang out with me if I had money. I always paid for everything. They wanted me to pay for their train/bus tickets so we could meet up together. Whenever we would go out to eat, they never paid. Yet, if I told them I had no money, they somehow "had other plans". So I ended up ditching them. Because true friends don't act that way.

I was just wondering what do you guys think of this, or if this happened to any of you.


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Re: Freeloading Friends? - March 16th 2011, 06:10 PM

Absolutely! I had one friend who always invited me to Barnes & Noble, then would eye the cafe area of the bookstore and ask me if I wanted to get coffee. I felt obligated to get her something as well, if I got something for myself. There were some days when I didn't mind treating her to something, since her parents aren't terribly well-off and I tend to keep gift cards on hand... but when she started suggesting it EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND, it got to me.

I also had a group of friends who took advantage of the fact that I had a car. They would ask me to drive them to the nearest fast food restaurant during our lunch breaks in high school. At first, I didn't mind, because I was still spending time with them during the drive. After a while, however, they began to ask for it (even expect it) every single day. That's when I told them they needed to start buying me food as well. =P So some days, they would agree and pay for my food, while on other days, they'd say they changed their minds and wouldn't ask for a ride.

This was all in high school, about four years ago. Now, I'm MUCH less tolerant of freeloading friends. I tend to be much more picky about whom I befriend to begin with, and when I happen to develop friendships with the occasional freeloaders, I quickly set them in their place. =P






   
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Re: Freeloading Friends? - March 16th 2011, 09:03 PM

Oh, definitely happened to me...

It was back in the days of High School, let's say 5 or 6 years ago. Two of my 'friends' were hungry during lunch, but they didn't have any cash on them, so I paid their lunch for them, after they promised to pay it back the next day. Next day came, no money. After that, I once helped one of two, but still haven't received any of that money yet.

<RANT>I think it's absolutely ridiculous that people think they can just live off of other's money like that. Even if it's not intentional, it's very strange that after telling someone about it, they suddenly back off as if it never happened. </RANT>

Anyways... It definitely changed my way of spending money on others...





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Re: Freeloading Friends? - March 16th 2011, 09:05 PM

I've had friends like this! And when I was much younger, I was somewhat like that as well.
KIND OF. I would hang out with friends regardless if they has money or not, but if we went out to coffee or something, I would *hope* they would offer to pay, so I would throw in little hints in there so they would give in and get me coffee. I'm not proud of it, but I DID stop with that. I realize that it isn't fair to them if I did that. But then on the flip side, I had a hard time accepting money/things too. It was weird.

But I have had friends like that. I used to have a friend who would only want to hang out when her boyfriend was working, or her other friend was gone. She would only want sleepovers at her house, and asked for things as well. I don't know if that was freeloading persay, but it definitely seemed like she was using me to enertain her when no one else was available to do so.


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Re: Freeloading Friends? - March 16th 2011, 10:25 PM

Yeah, I have a friend who always offers to come to the cantine/shop/coffee bar (all at school) with me and at first I thought it was nice of her and always bought her something or shared but this one time she said "are you going to the shop?" and I checked my purse and I only had 1.50 and she saw this and said she had to go someplace?!
   
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Re: Freeloading Friends? - March 16th 2011, 10:46 PM

I did have a friend like this. She would only come sit with me and my other friends at lunch if we had food. She used to just ask for it in the beginning, but then it became to the point where you'd have it out and she'd just take some. And if you ever asked for some of what she was having ,when she had lunch, she'd stare at you like you were insane and basically yell no at you.
I got tired of that, so one day when she asked, I gave her a look and said no. She hasn't really talked to me since I started telling her no.
   
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Re: Freeloading Friends? - March 17th 2011, 05:30 AM

sort of, i have two friends. their nicknames are buddy and lesbian lol buddy because he's my buddy and lesbian because .. well buddy hoped we'd make out in front of him lol.. anyways lesbian has more money then buddy and so buddy would persuade her to buy us mchickens or tacos from mcdonalds or jack in the box. off of the dollar menu. but in return he used his skills to give her attention and happiness as best as he could. i don't know if this makes sence... lol


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Re: Freeloading Friends? - March 19th 2011, 03:42 AM

I kind of have a friend like this, but it has more to do with her family not having much money. She never ever has any money for lunch or anything, so I always feel obligated to give her part of mine. But it's gotten worse, and she doesn't sit anywhere else because really, she doesn't have that many friends. Now she'll take the lunchbox from me and dig through it and take something. Sometimes she'll ask, and sometimes she'll know what I normally give her and simply take it. I mean, even though I normally give her that, what if I'm extremely hungry that day and want it? It's not even my food money she's wasting. My mom goes to the grocery store every week and buys me the meals for the week, so she's really wasting my parents' money. When I don't give her something or she wants more she'll stare at me with these puppy dog eyes or plead with me until I give her something because I feel bad.
Or if we go to the mall I'll almost always end up buying her lunch. So sometimes I say I'm not hungry and won't eat until I get home even if I'm starving. Even THEN sometimes she'll still end up with lunch or I'll end up splitting a drink with her (I hope I don't get mono). Once i even bought her a set of bangles. :/
   
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Re: Freeloading Friends? - March 20th 2011, 03:13 AM

Yup... Definitely had something like this in high school lol it wasn't monetary for me. Rather, it was school work.

Whenever he 'forgot' to finish his homework, he came to me during lunch time and asked to see mine 'as reference'. I didn't care too much until he asked to see my term report, 'as reference' of course. If he did copy mine and get caught for plagerism, it would've gotten us both suspended. That's when I told him to get lost lol
   
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