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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
sw2bm Offline
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Exclamation i need help bad - March 27th 2011, 04:58 PM

hi everyone its sw2bm, i havent been on for awhile but yeah i need alot of advice from yall. and here is one. i got this friend, i guess you can call her my best friend, i mean we known eachother since elementary scholl till now, but yeah she the type of person to have drama all the time, ya know and its rare if she doesnt. so sine she has all this drama me being the nice and caring person i am, i tell her all the time ya know im always here text me or call me whenever u want imma listen. so she does and i dont give her one word replys and i give her the best advice i can and i even try to make her smile to make her feel better. but its gettin to the point where that the only time she will want to text me or call me is when she got drama or needs advice and if she feels like hanging wit me or wants me to spend the night. ya know, if i go to text her first she will either not answer me back for awhile or give me one word replys and i feel some sort of way ya know. out of my five friends i feel like none of them consider me as a best friend or anything. im almost like an information center or personal journal for them.i shouldnt feel use to it but i do and its taking a toll on me. please i need advice on this situation or your insight on this story.thanks
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i need help bad - March 27th 2011, 09:43 PM

Sounds like what happened to me in high school! My friends liked my advice so much, that they always came to me when they had problems. After a while, I started to feel like their counselor, not their friend, and that led to ME having problems. So I explained that to my friends. I said that, in order for me to help them, I needed to be emotionally healthy. If I felt like my friends were just using me, then I wouldn't be emotionally healthy, and that would affect the quality of my advice. Most of my friends were very understanding of that, and made more of an effort to spend time with me as friends (vs. just venting about their problems). One friend never seemed to understand that, however, so I slowly stopped putting in the time and effort when she wanted advice. After a while, she figured things out, but unfortunately, she stopped talking to me altogether as a result. Some people will walk all over you, if given the chance - so take a stand and see which of your friends will respect you as a person.






   
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Re: i need help bad - March 27th 2011, 10:11 PM

Hi there,
I think that you might want to tell them this (what you wrote) and just explain that you don't mind helping them. But you do mind that that's all you've been doing. Let them know you'd appreciate if they'd reply and talk to you when they aren't in need of your help =/


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Re: i need help bad - March 27th 2011, 10:17 PM

Hey there,

I can really relate to what you are going through right now. It's important that you talk to your friend about this. She may not even realize that that is what she is doing. She has so much drama going on that she is failing to realize the the earth still spins around her. Explain to her that you are doing the best you can to support her and be there for her, but you need her too sometimes and you just don't feel like she is there for you when you need her. If she still behaves the way that she does, then you might have to do what Robin did and slowly pull away from the girl. It's not going to be easy, but you need to do what's best for you. You need to be mentally healthy, and not let people bring you down. When you need something from someone, you might have to be direct in asking for it. Say that you need their support. Make sure you're focusing on YOUR needs. There needs to be a healthy, equal balance in the friendship. :]


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Re: i need help bad - April 8th 2011, 09:47 PM

tell them you are taking a brake form being a jornal try to say it like that so they know you don't mean it offensively and say you can talk to outher people about it outhere than just you coz you can be used to that ok sorry if i give bad advice but im only trying to help where i can hope it helps


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