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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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jonasgirl80 Offline
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Unhappy Hiding Something? - April 2nd 2011, 02:34 AM

So my parents have been divorced for about two years now. I live with my mom and go to my dad on weekends. My mom often complains about my dad and tried to bring him down in front of me, but that's another story.

The real thing is: I "overlooked" her texts (fine, I was being nosy) and she was texting this patient (she's a nurse) she has who she is good friends with. And they were texting about how they loved each other, how she wanted to "cuddle up" to him, and how they had sex! And I'd never heard anything from her about this guy, only that they were friends! I've never even met the guy! Recently she got home late a couple of nights saying she was "with friends out to dinner" but now I can't believe anything anymore!!!

Please, anyone? Help here!
   
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Re: Hiding Something? - April 2nd 2011, 04:46 AM

Bailey,

I honestly went through the same EXACT thing that you're going through now.
This is how I handled it- I confronted my mom. She was pissed that I went through her phone.
Well, to back track. My mom had an affair with a married man who was best friends with her deceased husband. So, she should of been ashamed. But for you, her dating life isn't any of your business until she makes it your business. You really shouldn't have been looking on her phone. I regret looking through my moms phone too. I think you need to drop it. She isn't lying to you, she just isn't telling you that she is dating him. I know that must hurt because your parents got a divorce, but at the same time, she will tell you when she is ready. Chances are, she will be mad if she knew you went through her phone. And she will lose a lot of trust in you. I think you're better off to just stop looking through her phone and let her come to you.


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Re: Hiding Something? - April 3rd 2011, 03:51 PM

I agree with Lyndsee on this. Your mom won't be happy that you were looking through her phone, no matter how curious you were.

She might be keeping this from you to try and protect you, in her own way. She might think it's too soon for her to be bringing a new man into your life. For now, I'd wait. If she continues seeing this guy, she'll tell you when she's ready. Her love life is her business. Let her come to you about it.
   
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Re: Hiding Something? - April 15th 2011, 02:00 AM

She's trying to not bring a new man into my life and protect me? So me just coming back from a baseball game with my dad to find my mom exhausted on the bed and a pair of boxers of the dresser is 'hiding' it from me? She's doing a pretty bad job of hiding it if she's trying.

I don't know... I'm scared to confront her but it's making me not trust her home alone or barely even trust her at all if she's bringing a man into the house without telling me. I told her I was fine with her dating but at least her telling me about it would help!


Always look on the bright side of life!!!
   
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Re: Hiding Something? - April 15th 2011, 02:07 AM

Although you are her daughter, your mom's dating life is her own business. It may seem like she's betraying you by not telling you about him, but she's protecting you. It doesn't make sense to you now.. But, based off of the way you're reacting to this, I don't feel like you would have been happy even if she had come out and told you in the first place. I think it's more than her hiding it from you. I think it's the concept that she is seeing someone other than your dad. Just try and see where she's coming from. She may be an adult, but adults can be unsure too. Give her time to get comfortable with the idea of telling you about his and her relationship herself.



Make it stop,
Let this end.
This life chose me, I'm not lost in sin.
But proud I stand of who I am,
I plan to go on living.

~carpe diem~
   
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