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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Angry child custody and drug use...adults please post if you can - April 3rd 2011, 10:52 AM

This thread has been labeled as non-PG13 by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for younger users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

sorry this is so long....
Last night (well now i'm hearing it might have been 2-3 weeks ago) my sister went to a friend's house. her friend's boyfriend just got thrown back in jail and her friend didn't want to stay home by herself so my sister stayed with her friend overnight. she left my niece with her husband that night, who is 21-he's a dumb-a**. At 2am he was caught by the cops-drunk and high in the middle of the street and almost got hit by a car. they've been living in a hotel for the past few weeks-they got kicked out of their apartment.

The cops went back to the hotel to find my niece crying by herself in a diaper- she's 3 1/2. My sister just got a job at steak n shake-well at least she said she did. i'm going up to her new job later today or later this week and if she really did get a job there. if so, i'm telling my sister's boss to unhire her. She is supposedly starting rehab next week anyways so she won't be able to work. and all the money she will get will be for drugs and alcohol anyways-that's what her and her husband did with all the unemployment money-and sometimes paid rent and bills.

Her husband has been living off unemployment-here in st. louis, mo. He doesn't even bother to go look for a job- which is illegal; since he's on unemployment, by law he has to look for a job. I'm surprised he hasn't gotten his unemployment benefits cut yet. He only gets $300 each week.
I just report him last night to unemployment services in MO here for fraud.
their definition of fraud is-
  1. Workers/claimants must report all earnings for each week. This includes part-time wages, tips, commissions, bonuses, etc. Be especially certain to report any vacation pay, holiday pay, and WARN pay, and the correct dates. If a worker/claimant does not report this income in full each week, he or she is committing fraud.
  2. A claimant’s work search record must list only actual employers that he or she actually contacted. The DES randomly audits claimants each week. DES contacts all the employers listed to ensure that the claimant actually applied with them. If a claimant makes up or falsifies the work search record, he or she is committing fraud.
  3. If a claimant deliberately makes a false statement or withholds information in order to receive benefits, he or she is committing fraud. If an overpayment of benefits occurs, the claimant must repay them. Click here for more information about overpayments.


My sister's husband is committing #2 and #3. I've had #2 (The DES randomly audits claimants each week. DES contacts all the employers listed to ensure that the claimant actually applied with them.) done on me too last year when I was unemployed.

The cops took my niece to my sister's husband's parents. I don't get how that works out since when my sister's husband told the cops where to take my niece,he was drunk and high, which meant he was not competent and in the right mind to make decisions on behalf of his child and that the cops should have just put my niece in foster care. My sister's husband's parents are apparently foster parents and don't know I'm transgendered-FTM, been on T for 2 years now=]. They went to court and now have full custody of my niece. My parents don't have the money to fight and get her back. my dad has aspergers-his symptoms are worse than mine. so do i. I LOVE little kids. my dad did like my niece and now doesnt want to see her anymore and wants nothing to do with the whole thing.

My parents just got visitation rights to see my niece. I am not allowed to see her right now. When my sister's husband's parents find out I'm trans they may not want me seeing my niece at all-saying that because I'm trans that I'm crazy or something. I talked to my sister yesterday and she said that I was allowed to see my niece but apparently not. My sister's husband is supposedly in rehab now-h*ll they just need to cart him and my sister to jail till they die-and my sister supposedly starts rehab next week. They both do weed.

The last time I saw my niece was 1 month ago. I asked my sister if she did weed-she lied. I got a message from a kid i went to high school with saying that my sister and her husband does heroin (I don't know if that's true yet) and that he sold it and that they were gonna be getting kicked out of their apartment at the end of March. He has texted my stepmom asking her if she wanted to buy a few pills of perkacet or an entire prescription of it. They both won't even bother to go get their GEDs.

They are also on foodstamps.- the government needs to drug trust for people to get food stamps and to be on unemployment. 2 months ago i had some oxycodone left over from when i recently got my wisdom teeth pulled. i didn't finish the bottle because it made me dizzy. when they came over one day my sister's husband went to my room to put their coats up there and found the oxycodone and took what was left in the bottle. When i had my wisdom teeth out my sister asked what meds. I was on. i told her oxycodone and the both of them wouldn't stop calling and texting and begging me to sell it to them-even for them to come and get it at 3am!!!

I called my sister again yesterday evening-she told me earlier that day to call her back-she never picked up the phone or answered my texts-just like usual. i need to find out if and when they get a court hearing to get my niece back. i don't want her or her husband getting them back!!!!

the only thing i hate is that with my niece being with my sister' husband's parents, i don't know them and they live right on the edge of town right where the buses stop going to. the thing i do like is they have more money than my parents-not to use them or anything but, when i talk to them (if i ever do) i will ask them if they can put my niece in preschool. she's been asking since she was 1 1/2 to go to school. last spring when i had my night EMT class she'd ask me if she could go to school with me and of course i had to say no and she'd sit there and cry and cry till i left because i told her she couldn't go to school=[ all the toys me and my parents got her for christmas are gone=[-i got her a little cloth woody doll and his little GF Jessie doll (from toy story) and wooden blocks with the alphabet and pictures on them. My parents got her one of those my size barbie dolls. i got her a matching outfit-all pink-so her and her barbie could wear the same clothes=] she loved that!! =]

the thing I hate is that my sister's husband's parents have wanted my niece all to themselves since day 1 she was born. when she was born they had a baby room all made up for her with all new clothes yet for the baby shower they just gave my sister and her husband hand-me-downs from once-upon a child. WTF!!!???!!!

When my niece was 3 months old my sister's husband's parents threatened to call DFS because my sister's husband threw something at the wall and something fell and almost hit my niece. they have been drinking and at least doing weed since they got together about a year before my niece was born. he was 18 and dropped out of 10th grade when my niece was born and my sister was 17 and dropped out of 11th grade when my niece was born. At their last apartment my sister's husband broke the window and my niece's room-1 bedroom apt. my sister and her husband slept on an air mattress in the living room. they told the landlord that my niece accidently threw a ball at the window and that's how it broke. that was a lie.

the last time i saw my sister was 1 month ago to get her foodstamp card. i gave her my food i got 1 month ago- i was just diagnosed with diabetes and couldnt eat anything i just bought from the store and couldnt find the reciept to return what i had bought [Edited by PSY: Please do not indicate body measurements such as weight and clothing size.] they took all the food i gave them home with them. it was A LOT. they said they would give me $80 in their foodstamps that month because i had to give up all my food i bought for me for the month-i get $100 a month in foodstamps but I only make $800 a month-$600 goes to my roomate for rent-well worth the price here(and it comes with a chiwowwow=], even though he is 13 yrs. old and thinks he is a cat and pees like a girl dog). I only got $41 from the $80 that they said they'd give me. so last month i only had $41 for food=[ but i'm fully stocked now=]

im so pissed at my sister. she is supposed to get her foodstamps today. but she screwed me with not being able to see my niece again and not giving my niece to my parents-that i cut her foodstamp card up. i don't care. it'll only take a few days for her to get a new one anyways. I'm off work today. i was planning on taking my niece to the zoo to see the baby lemur or to see the new movie HOP-i want to see this too=], or to my place to watch the Brave Little Toaster-she's been bugging me to let her watch it with me=]

my niece has never been to a baseball game. i don't care if i have to go without a cell phone for a month if i get to see my niece i'm taking her to a baseball game ASAP and buying her all the food she wants-it's expensive- $6 for a htodog=[ and a cardianls t-shirt and mabey a pennant...

besides all this so my sister was f***ing another guy and my sister's husband stuck his tounge down a 15 yr. olds-a minor-throat- he's 21 mind you-legally an adult-and he was f***ing her and they are both totally o.k. with them cheating on each other like that. They both know what the other person is doing. WTF!!??!! As far as I know that's NOT in a normal relationship-well the screwing around part but not the part about your current partner being totally o.k. with their significant other getting busy with someone else.

and my sister's husband has sent my innapropriate text pictures before- pics of "sausages" that are just picture of *icks. and for christmas he sent me a pic of a *ick that had a santa hat on the top of it. I just erased those 2 days ago. i wished i still had them. it wouldn't help his or my sister's case at all when trying to get my niece-their kid-back.

I'll add more if i think of anything but i think this is pretty much it.

** Feel free to PM me if you wish**


This is bunny

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Last edited by PSY; April 3rd 2011 at 06:31 PM. Reason: Removed body measurements.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: child custody and drug use...adults please post if you can - April 3rd 2011, 11:49 AM

Damn, there's a lot going on so I'm going to respond to parts of it, that and I'm dead tired.

First, how do you know the sister's husband had sexual interaction with a minor? Second, how is that minor related to them and you? Partners can have sex with others and be fine with it, you may say it's not normal but as long as it's healthy, it's fine by me. Aside from the husband's interaction with the minor, it seems legal.

As for how the cops could listen to the husband about where to get the niece, I think it was a matter of urgency to know because the niece was young. They could have let him sober up but the niece was a very pressing matter, so that's why I think the cops. Also, it depends if he was able to cognitively function properly. Since he was in the middle of the road, I assume he wasn't too competent but the cops probably viewed it as an urgency and if he gave a wrong location, then they'd have tried other ways or waited until he sobered up.

Weed isn't a particularly difficult drug to get off of, assuming it's not laced and assuming there's no other addictions. You mentioned a lot of drinking so I think they'd be in rehab for that because it's harder to quit. Getting off weed probably makes the whole experience a bit worse. If they're on other drugs, such as heroin or oxycodone, both are pretty nasty and extremely addictive, I'd imagine they'd be in rehab for that as well.

I wouldn't stop eating just because you're diabetic. You need to eat as if you experience hypoglycemia, you'll be fucked. Not eating for days can also become detrimental to your health.

As for the date of a court hearing, if you know which court you could call them up and ask. Alternatively, if you know the charges, such as a state court, look up ones in the area and call them up. Each day, the court has a printed list of the cases at or near the court doors so you could just take a look. I'm not sure how long in advance they plan so a date may still be pending. That gives the official date, don't bother asking others for it because the courts are the ones who set the date and know.


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Re: child custody and drug use...adults please post if you can - April 3rd 2011, 06:38 PM

This whole situation is so completely screwed up, it's ridiculous. I think there are two things that need to be at the top of your priority list: contact the police/DFS and get as many details about the arrest, your niece's current situation, etc. as you can AND get in touch with a family law attorney (hopefully one who will agree to do pro-bono [free] work or charge a lower rate out of sympathy) in order to ensure that your sister and her husband do NOT get custody of their child back. The baseball game with your niece can wait... take those hundreds of dollars you would have spent on tickets, hot dogs, etc. and put them toward paying for legal fees instead. Do whatever you have to in order to keep in touch with your niece and ensure she's getting the best care possible (whether that be with your sister's husband's parents, with you, or with another individual/family). If your niece ends up with your sister and her husband despite your best efforts, contact DFS and explain the situation. Call them every week if you have to, and urge them to visit your niece's home to ensure that she is being taken care of. Sooner or later, your sister and her husband will slip up again, and they'll lose custody yet again - it's just a matter of time, and a matter of your keeping tabs on the situation.

I am truly sorry to hear about your niece's situation, and I wish her all the best. =(






   
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