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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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jhor Offline
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Unhappy I'm kinda worried about a friend . . . - April 3rd 2011, 09:31 PM

sorry this is so long.

Me and this girl (lets call her Beth) have been really close friends for a few years now. The thing is, she loves to be the center of attention. It's been kinda irratating at some points, but I shurged it off because I love her so much.

Beth's neighbor is a few years older than us and interduced her to some of her friends. So, Beth started hanging out with these people even more than her neighbor. So, ever sense then she's thought that it's really cool how she's friends with people a few years older than us and always wants to hang out with them. Then these older friends interduce her to more older friends, and all of a sudden she's got this whole network going on.

So that's all fine and dandy, if it weren't for the fact that now she's starting to hang out with a kinda bad group. Espically this one girl, Soraya. Soraya has done every drug in the book. She has a reputation for being a little . . . skanky. Sleepin' around and stuff like that, and she's not afraid to admit it. She and her boyfriend have been in jail and stuff . . . Beth thinks this is great and that Soraya is so cool and yah-dee-yah-da. I know that Beth would do this to be accepted by her little group of people, and I'm really worried about her. I really don't want her to be that kind of person and I know that she will sooner or later. Apperntly she's going over to Sorayas house in a few days where Soraya and her boyfriend (who just got out of jail) will be smoking and stuff.

I'm just kinda worried. And I know it's none of my buisness and I should just back off, but I'm still worried. I can't say anything to Beth either, she'd be upset. Any advice?
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Harmony♥ Offline
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Re: I'm kinda worried about a friend . . . - April 4th 2011, 12:27 AM

I wouldn't say it's not any of your business. She's your friend, you care about her, and you know she's hanging out with the wrong people. I know this might be a little hard to get through her head, but you should explain to her that if cops suddenly show up at Soraya's house, she may be going to jail too. The cops aren't going to just automatically be like "hey, this girl wasn't involved." because since she's there, they might automatically assume that she was. You need to tell her the truths and realities of her new friends situations. Drugs can not only interupt your life by sending you to jail, but they can also kill you. Going to jail is not cool and neither is an overdose on drugs. They can also severely injure her IQ, and she could overdose easily after trying anything...even just once. Look up stories online about other girl's who've gone/are going through her situation, and try to explain to her that drugs are bad and so are her new friends with their terrible influences. She needs her mind opened up to the possibilites that this could someday ruin her chances of ever getting into college, finding a job (now and in the future since most places require drug testing now along with background checks) as well as other things.

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SparklingWine Offline
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Re: I'm kinda worried about a friend . . . - April 4th 2011, 01:02 AM

Hey there. I am sorry about your friend. I think it's scary to see someone that you are close with go through something like that. The reason why your friend might like hanging out with these people is because, like you said, they're older, but also because she might be lacking something in the relationships she currently holds. She is probably trying to gain what she lacks from these people. I can see her wanting to hang out with these people because she feels she lack independence and they appear to be independent to her. Just an example. I think that you need to talk to her about this. Tell her that you worry about her and the new people that she is hanging out with. She might get defensive. But give her examples of what you see wrong with the picture. It might help to show her the person that she was before this all started happening. But ultimately, she is going to do what she wants to do. If it gets really serious and unsafe, then I think you should talk to her parents or yours. Her safety comes first. Above all.

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1yr1a Offline
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Re: I'm kinda worried about a friend . . . - April 8th 2011, 09:20 PM

i would say try to hang round her more go out to the beach or something just try to keep he away from them and if comes to it tell her and she may react different to what you think and sorry if this is bad advice but im just trying to help you kk

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