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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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colorherworldxo Offline
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Unhappy I'm going to regret never being home. - April 5th 2011, 09:32 PM

So last year my dad was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver and then it turned into cancer so they said he needed a liver transplant. He ended up getting one a few months later. He was in and out of the hospital and it took a toll on my family. well it got better for a while and we thought everything was going to be okay. Well just recently my dad went for an appointment to check up on his progress; he has cancer again. I gave away my whole senior year for him and I don't regret it at all but I do wish I did things that normal seniors did. So lately it's been really bad and I haven't been home. I just leave and go to friends or just do anything to get away. My mom is stuck at home taking care of him by herself and I just feel like complete shit. I love my dad more than anything but I hate seeing him like that and I just don't know what to do but to go away and just ignore it and act like it's not happening. Then in the back of my mind I know if anything happens to him I will hate myself for not being there. I just have no idea what to do.


Anyone out there been here ? What should I do ?


Hope will never silent.
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Re: I'm going to regret never being home. - April 5th 2011, 10:02 PM

Have you considered attending family therapy? It's fairly common for people to "run away" from a situation they have no control over. This is your way of coping with the grief. If that is causing problems for you and/or your family members, however, then it would be good to sit down as a family and discuss what you can do to feel more "in control" of the situation. Sure, you need some alone time... but perhaps there are things you can do for your parents that will help you feel better about the situation at home. For example, when young children lose a parent or find out a parent is severely ill, they often deal with the situation best when they have extra chores to do around the house. It helps them stay busy and makes them feel like they're making important contributions to the family. You may need to find a balance between contributing and having time to yourself, fulfilling obligations and spending time with your father while also de-stressing and spending time with friends.






   
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Re: I'm going to regret never being home. - April 6th 2011, 07:31 PM

The reason as to why you're spending so much time away from your house is because it's your way of coping, as Robin said. I lost my dad when I was 11. I wasn't very close to him. I wish that I would have spend more time with him. I think that you should try to talk to someone about this. Bottling it up is not going to make it better. I tried, and failed. I tried again and I failed again. Is there friends or family member that you can lean on for support? Another way to cope with this is to voice your feelings with people. Talk to your parents. Tell them how hard this is on you. As hard as it is, you need to spend time at home. It's going to hurt a little bit to face this, but spending time with your family and being there for them is really important. It's good to hang out with friends, but like Robin said- there needs to be a balance. <3


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