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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
KoKoEm Offline
love's lookin' good on you =]
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What Means More? - March 5th 2009, 10:29 PM

My friend has a girlfriend. Both are girls, and I have to say, I don't have a problem with someone being a lesbian or gay or bi or anything. But there's more to my problem than that.
My friend would leave me in the library by myself so she could call her girlfriend. I guess I should go farther back than that.
My friend decided she wanted to date a girl who she had never met. Until they met online. That was the first thing that bothered me. Plus, my friend lied to me, saying that she knew her before, and then she later told me she didn't. She knows she's been lying and it hurts, but she doesn't seem to care.
Well, she began having to talk to her girlfriend all the time. She called her during class and after school. At first, she was able to spend time with me in the library and then she decided that even then, she had to talk to her girlfriend and would leave me.
Then her girlfriend came to town on Monday. And people began to ignore her. She already is ignoring two friends because they didn't like the fact that her life became all about her girlfriend and the fact that her girlfriend was now in town. Well, she came up to me Tuesday because people were staring at her in the hall because she was making out with her girlfriend in the hallway. A few minutes later she started saying that she had asked her girlfriend to kiss her and make out with her, and all. -.-
And now, when I get out of theater, I get a few words. We used to hang out after school every day and now... She wanders off with her girlfriend constantly. They'll be away for about a half hour and she always comes back just in time to complain about me having to leave soon.
I don't know what to say. I hate it. I'm being left alone just because my friend has a girlfriend who now is near us. I feel like I'm the next to start getting angry with her. Yesterday wasn't so bad, because my friend came to me and talked to me and it was awesome to get to know him better. (Wow, I just had a major side-tracking) But today, he was busy after theater and I didn't see him until I was leaving. So we weren't able to talk like we did and I really wish there was someone else there who actually stayed later, but there isn't. I just don't know what to do about it. I feel like I'm not important to her anymore and it's unbearable.


This is how it ends
We believe every lie & say we'll still be friends
How long will it last
Before we scratch all the scripts & rework the casts
*Hourglass by the Hush Sound*


PM me =]

Current Craft Obsession: http://friendship-bracelets.net
Craft obsessions vary often.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
asyoulikeit Offline
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Re: What Means More? - March 6th 2009, 05:27 PM

Hey, Emily I'm sorry your friend has gotten so involved over this relationship, and when she and her girlfriend start having problems this will come back to haunt her you can be sure. She isn't right to abandon all her friends for the sake of falling in love, but it's your decision to stick with her or wait till she regains her senses. If she comes back to you, then you can forgive her. Or if you want to confront her about this maybe she'll realize that in order to keep you she has to show that she still cares.

In the meantime find some more friends that have time for you so you'll feel better. It's always good to have people with the same interests as you and plus this will take your mind off her for a change.

Hope this helps, PM me if you wanna talk about anything

-marissa


When you say "never", I'll say "lie"
When you say "always", I'll say "true"
When you say "love", I'll say "you"
I'll say "you"

It gets better.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: What Means More? - March 7th 2009, 04:31 PM

Hey Emily,

I'm sorry to hear your friend is missing out on having you as a friend. Unfortunately, sometimes when a friend gets into a relationship this serious, they're blindsided and miss the good things they're losing. I really think you should talk to her about this. You have a right to feel respected when you're with her. If she really is one of your good friends, she'll listen and talk to you about it. She should be able to compromise and meet you somewhere in the middle. If she blows you off, even after the confrontation, then maybe it's time to stick up for yourself. You don't have to feel bad like this. You don't have to sit around and let her treat you like this. Maybe, for now, you should starting hanging out with a few different people. I know this is hard to do, no matter what. But, do what you want when you're ready. Take your time. If you need anything, let me know. I'm only a PM away.

~Stay strong and have faith.


01 // 10 // 11

Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
KoKoEm Offline
love's lookin' good on you =]
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Re: What Means More? - March 7th 2009, 10:33 PM

I may have lost it for her now. Well, not exactly, but pretty close.
I mean, I'll be nice to her in class but I don't think I can be that close of friends with her right now.
Yesterday, we were in class and sitting around talking and organizing our binders (well, she was organizing her folder) for our binder check that class. And she found a picture that I spent the whole 48 minutes of class working on one day, and crumpled it up. I asked her what the heck she thought she was doing (except for using different words) and she said she was going to throw it away. She straightened it out and goes, "Here, keep it. Since you drew it." And I told her that I drew it for her, expecting her to keep it and all because she had been bugging me for a new bunny picture. She said, "Well, if you don't want it in the trash, you take it." I told her that I didn't want it because it was for her. She didn't get the fact how much the fact that she had kept the picture meant to me and threw it away. I almost cried because I said pretty close to clearly how much it meant to me and she still threw it away. She used to complain every time I would throw even a little note from her away, so I've kept so many of those, and then she threw away something that I had made for her and she threw it away immediately.
So I think I'm going to start ignoring her after school when she complains to me and hopefully she'll eventually realize that she did the same thing to me. I hate to do it and needed the opinion of someone who wouldn't be, "Oh, but it's her she needs people so much..." and all that crap... I get so tired of it.
By the way, thank you both for replying! =)


This is how it ends
We believe every lie & say we'll still be friends
How long will it last
Before we scratch all the scripts & rework the casts
*Hourglass by the Hush Sound*


PM me =]

Current Craft Obsession: http://friendship-bracelets.net
Craft obsessions vary often.
  Send a message via AIM to KoKoEm Send a message via MSN to KoKoEm Send a message via Yahoo to KoKoEm  
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
asyoulikeit Offline
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Re: What Means More? - March 9th 2009, 04:46 PM

Obviously she hasn't been treating you as well as she should :-P that can happen though, and she may not realize how much things have changed...but don't take the picture as a sign of your friendship; if she's struck by this relationship, then she probably isn't reading as much into this as you did. However, that does NOT make it ok for her to treat you like you're insignificant and you should try talking to her about her behavior. If giving her the cold shoulder wakes her up, be ready to talk about it but also keep in mind that it could just make her mad and even less receptive to what you want to say. I'd suggest trying to get through to her first, then if she's still stubborn give her a taste of her own medicine and spend your time with people who appreciate you more. Whether or not she learns to keep you, you deserve good friends.


When you say "never", I'll say "lie"
When you say "always", I'll say "true"
When you say "love", I'll say "you"
I'll say "you"

It gets better.
   
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