My sister is in trouble :(

[Triella]

I wasn't sure if I should post this here or in substance use so if it is in the wrong place I am sorry. My younger sister is 15 years old in grade 10. She started getting into trouble in school a lot for skipping with friends in grade 6. Then she started smoking in grade 7. By grade 8 she was doing drugs, and by grade 9 she was a completely different person always high or drunk and never going to school. Even though she is in grade 10 this year 7 of her classes were grade 9 classes and she has only gone to about 10 classes all year long. She left home 5 months ago and had been going from friends house to friends house losing half her belongings along the way. When she ran out of friends to go to she went to stay at grandmas house because she has to much pride to come home. She was there for about a month until grandma kicked her out because the truth is my sister is really hard to deal with. Now my little sister has been sleeping in the street for the last 3 nights and nobody knows what to do about it. Everyone but me seems to have completely given up on her. I am only one person I can't help my sister all by myself but I really want to because she is my sister and I love her and care about her. I am afraid that one day she will show up dead someplace and I really don't want that. So if anyone has any advice for me it would be greatly appreciated.

[PSY]

Is your sister a minor? If so, then your parents are required BY LAW to take care of your sister's needs. That means providing food, shelter, and ensuring that she goes to school on a regular basis. You could call the police, explain your situation to them, and ask for a referral to child/family services. A social worker could come by the house on a regular basis and work with all of you to ensure that your sister is getting the help she needs. She could be forced into rehab initially (detox, some basic counseling), then receive follow-ups after stabilizing and moving back into your house.

If your sister is an adult, then I would look into laws about forced rehabilitation. If it is not possible to do that (it may depend on how "at-risk" your sister is), try to look up services for unemployed individuals and pass those along to your sister. If she knows that you care and are willing to work with her, providing resources and support in order to get her off the street, she may feel motivated to work with you as well.

I am sorry to hear about your family's situation, and I wish your sister all the best in getting her life back on track.

[Triella]

Thank you so much for your information on this. It might be helpful to me.

[Heartlines.]

Your sister is a minor, so your parents still have control over her by law. Even though your parents don't think they have control, they do. They need to buckle down and do their jobs as parents. I'm not saying they are bad parents, not in the slightest. I am sure they are good parents, they are just scared and are at a loss to know what to do. You can always call your sister. Explain to her that you are extremely worried about her, and that you do want her to come home. Explain to her that you are there for her. You can also encourage your parents to reach out to her. It's very obvious that your sister isn't going to reach out to you and your parents. If your parents are basically 'wiping their hands of it', then as a last resort I would call Child Protective Services or the cops. Because what your parents are doing is neglect. And your sister is in danger. I know it's a really scary thought to call CPS, but something needs to be done. Your sister is at risk.

[losing touch.]

where are your parents in all this? surely they can't just be ok about her being on the streets? no matter what shes done, she really shouldn't be out there on the streets.. anything could happen to her.
if your parents won't take her back in you should contact the police, she's a kid at the end of the day.

[Triella]

my sister wont come home even though my parents try to help her and they called the police and the police told her they can't do anything about it. They said they can't force her to come home and even if they could that she would just leave again. I am going to try and get her sent to rehab and i am going to talk to my parents about it because i think they are in denial.

[losing touch.]

Originally Posted by Triella

my sister wont come home even though my parents try to help her and they called the police and the police told her they can't do anything about it. They said they can't force her to come home and even if they could that she would just leave again. I am going to try and get her sent to rehab and i am going to talk to my parents about it because i think they are in denial.

the police can't just do nothing.. you obviously dealt with someone entirely incompetent. they should be able to at least refer the case to social services i would have thought.. who would definitely find her somewhere to stay. are there any hostels in your area that might be able to help her? do you know where she is right now?..

[Triella]

I agree with you the cop was a complete idiot. anyways my sister needs more help than just a roof over her head. she needs a freaking intervention and i am going to try to get her one. I do know the general area where she should be. Also thank you for your help.

[Heartlines.]

I think that you should try talking to another cop. She is a minor, so surely there are some laws about curfew and what not being broken. She is also using so that's illegal. I'm glad you're going to plan an intervention<3

[losing touch.]

Originally Posted by Triella

I agree with you the cop was a complete idiot. anyways my sister needs more help than just a roof over her head. she needs a freaking intervention and i am going to try to get her one. I do know the general area where she should be. Also thank you for your help.

i definitely agree, based on what you've said.. she does need more help than just a roof over her head. but in the short term, to keep her safe she needs to be somewhere other than the streets.
I really hope she can sort herself out! it's a very difficult situation.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

Originally Posted by Triella

my sister wont come home even though my parents try to help her and they called the police and the police told her they can't do anything about it. They said they can't force her to come home and even if they could that she would just leave again. I am going to try and get her sent to rehab and i am going to talk to my parents about it because i think they are in denial.

The cop was either a bonehead or said nothing could be done to avoid possibly arresting her. A problem with the overall criminal justice system is many people who are in situations your sister is in, cant get to any medical or psychiatric help for whatever reasons. As a result, getting arrested is beneficial because the police can hand her over to psychiatrists and social workers. If she's acting this way mostly in the name of drug addictions, they can involuntarily admit her.

I noticed your location is in Ontario, which may be good because depending where you are, your sister could be sent to a place such as CAMH (part of University of Toronto campus) or hospitals around that area.

I think your parents are confused and overwhelmed because you as the older daughter turned out fine however the younger daughter is living in the streets and difficult to get along with. I think they're frustrated over not getting the situation resolved and running out of options they can think of. The unfortunate thing is your parents are held responsible if she does something illegal (i.e. they pay the fines). This leads to a bigger issue once a court hears of your sister's actions because your parents would get charged with criminal neglect, failing to provide necessities of life, etc... . That is going to really fuck up the situation more than it already is.

You could get in contact with the police again because the previous cop had his head up his arse.

From a purely pharmacological and neurobiological view, drug addictions can be hard to quit not simply because of the drugs themselves but because the addicts are released into the same situation which had them resort to drugs. In other words, if your sister gets into rehab and detox, the social setting has to be changed in a way that is beneficial to her and one she likes more. Once she is in the care of doctors and social workers, she may get a risk assessment.

[Triella]

Thank you everyone for all of your help. I had a long talk with my parents about my sister and about how I was really worried about her and didn't wan't her to turn up dead somewhere. I told them that she is too young to be where she is now and that they CAN make her come home and that they should and if they didn't then they were bad parents. They agreed with me and we went and got her and took her home and then as a family we had a long talk my sister got mad tried to leave again my dad blocked the door and the next day my parents got my sister sent to rehab. I am So relieved that my sister is safe now and all of you are absolutely right that police officer hasn't a clue how to do his job right and he is a bonehead!

[Heartlines.]

I'm so glad that things are working out for you now!
Your parents stepping up, and your sister in rehab is great!

I'm going to go ahead an close this, as it seems you and your family have things a lot more under control now. Please PM me if you would like this re opened.