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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Question moving in with him - March 6th 2009, 02:22 AM

OK. So I've been with my boyfriend for more than three and a half years. We are in a very serious, happy, healthy relationship. We are in the second semester of our freshman year of college. This fall, we'd like to move in together in an apartment. This will actually cost about the same (or even less) as the dorms (and we'll have a stove and everything). Thing is, my parents (who pay for school and living expenses) are not very likely to go for it. It'd be one thing if they were religious and were just afraid that I was going to go to hell or something, but they aren't (they're actually atheist). I've talked to them about the idea before, and they flat-out refuse. They can't come up with any reason as to why its such an appalling idea, but they refuse to hear me out. If they weren't paying for school and all, i wouldn't have any problem with just living with him anyways, but I'd rather not be up to my eye-balls in student loans by the time I graduate. Also, my parents are still pretending that their little girl is a wholesome virgin who's done little more than make out... Uh yeah no. not the case. at all. The mere idea of me having a mature (and OMG sexualy active!!!) relationship is mindboggleing to them.
And its not like i just want to 'play house' (ok, maybe a lil) but we are at the point where we are pretty sure that we will get married in a few years. His parents got divorced, and my parents' relationship is an unhealthy, enabling, verbally abusive one. We want to live together for a while before we get married so that we don't end up like either of our parents.
Any advice on how to approach my parents on the subject and get them to let us make sure we're right for each other for life?
   
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Re: moving in with him - March 6th 2009, 03:01 AM

There's no exact way tell your parents that you and your boyfriend are 'right for life' but explain to them it's been three years with him and not much has changed, and you're sure you can handle it.


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Re: moving in with him - March 6th 2009, 05:37 AM

You can't tell them you two are right for life..
You can't tell them you two will never break up or get divorced..
You can't tell them that this move right now is what's right.

They're your parents, they want what's best for you, and most times parents believe that their child moving in with someone at such a young age will end in disaster.. (Which is often the case)

You need to live your life.. and tell them while you understand they don't want you doing this, you hope they'll try and support you later on if they can't do it right now.
It's a big step and I'll be honest with you..... There will be times when it sucks.
Flat out stinking sucks lol. But if you love him, and you two want to get married you'll make things work.
I'll come back and post more later.


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Re: moving in with him - March 11th 2009, 03:14 AM

Just wanted to update yall!
my mom and i talked, and she seems like shes really considering it! We had the most amazing conversation, no yelling, fighting... just an honest to goodness heart to heart!



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Re: moving in with him - March 11th 2009, 03:24 AM

That's great Kim! I hope things work out for you. :]


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Re: moving in with him - March 15th 2009, 02:04 AM

Well, I talked to my mom about it again... she said no.
I guess I'll ask again next year :/



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Re: moving in with him - March 15th 2009, 03:14 AM

It's okay, hun. Next year's always there for you and even if you aren't living with him, you guys will still have a smashing time. Sorry, though.


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Re: moving in with him - March 16th 2009, 02:21 AM

thanks, you guys



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