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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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zumbaqueen2012 Offline
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I Dont Know What To Suggest Anymore - March 6th 2009, 07:13 PM

Okay, first off, I was pretty unsure about where to put this, so move it if you feel it doesnt belong here.

A girl who I am friends with at work is very troubled, lets call her S. She's been hanging around with his guy (also at work but different team) lets call him A, for roughly around 1 yr.

They became friends in training and she insists that they are "just friends", however a while ago, she got pregnant by him, she wanted to keep the baby, but he wanted her to abort it, so she did.

Anyway S still hangs around with A, has sex with him and so on....Trouble is all he seems to do is upset her. At least once a week, I get a text from S saying that A said or done something mean to her, she ends up extremely upset but then a few days later, all is forgiven only for it to happen all over again.

She wont admit that she likes him, she insists they are "just friends" but I dont understand why she keeps hanging around with him, as all he does is make her feel worse....and she knows that. I advised her to do something that makes her happy but she says she doesnt know what that is cos all she does is work (from 9-6.30 in the week (cos she stays on til 6.30 waiting for A) and 2 days of 6-8 hrs overtime in the weekend).

It is really starting to get to me now, I've tried to be supportive and advise and all, but I really cant listen to it anymore-its too hard and getting me down too.

If it helps, S is 21 and A is 25-ish.

Anybody any help or advice?
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Re: I Dont Know What To Suggest Anymore - March 6th 2009, 10:48 PM

Hey Mia,

I'm sorry about the predicament you're in. I know sometimes it can be really difficult to understand another persons logic. But, some people just want to be loved you know? Sometimes it's hard to admit the truth when you're really not liking it. Maybe you two could hang out a little more often? This way, the fun things you're suggesting are with you. Unfortunately, people don't always accept the hard truth. You're a good friend for staying around and trying to help. But, you can't do much more than be supportive and let her know that she deserves more. Be honest with her. You can't take all the responsibility to help. It's also her responsibility to help herself, when needed. Either way, she needs to take that first step. If you really feel like it's too hard on you, discuss that with her too. Let her know what she might be losing because of all this. I hope this helped a little bit. If you need anything, let me know ok? Take care.

~Stay strong and have faith.


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