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losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
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how to bring this up with my mum? - April 25th 2011, 04:54 AM

i don't usually post for advice but i just came across something that has completely shocked me and i need some opinions.

firstly i'll start by saying i'm very close to my mum. I love her to pieces and we talk about everything.. i can't think why she would keep anything from me.

(i know this makes me sound awful like i was snooping but i really wasn't.) my mum asked me to send my aunt (her sister) a message on her facebook about something irrelevant. I couldn't help but notice another message topic underneath (you know on facebook how you can see the beginning of the message..)

so i clicked it and read the conversation my mum had with this woman who it turns out is a tenant of a house i had no idea my mum owned. It comes out in the conversation that my mum owns 5 or 6 flats and houses around the country that none of the rest of our family know about.

In another message to a different woman i don't recognise she mentioned a man (don't know who he is) and how she had stayed with him in september when she went away. the only time she went away around this time she told me it was for a funeral of a school friend. i've gone onto the mans facebook page (well i'm assuming it's him because he's the only one with that name in my mums friends list) and i don't recognise him/can't work out how she must know him.

now, a few years ago i remember she got in a massive argument with the bank because they disclosed some information about money to my dad. my mum set up her own account and has used that since then. Money has been tight in my family lately - we're constantly getting into arguments about it with school fees and tuition fees and all that.

i just find this whole thing so weird - like my mum has been keeping all these secrets from me. what are all these houses? who is this man? what the hell is going on?!

have no idea what i can do. if i ask her it'll be obvious i've been snooping through her messages BUT i can't not say anything. i'm almost positive my dad knows nothing about any of this because he can't keep anything to himself. should i ask him? i just have no idea... HELP!!!

..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..

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Re: how to bring this up with my mum? - April 25th 2011, 06:40 AM

I would talk to her about this. Yes, it was wrong to snoop... but now you know that something isn't right. If your mother's actions weren't affecting anyone else in the family, then I would say to leave it alone... but it sounds like money may be tight for everyone when there is no need for it to be. Your mother may not be acting in the family's best interests - and for that reason, I think a conversation is warranted.

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