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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Troubled_Heart Offline
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Question Who to pick? - April 28th 2011, 05:17 PM

So me and mum planned on going to the cinema to see beastly on monday for something to do, but then my friends invited me to see the same film on Saturday. I can't go twice but I don't know who to go with.

The dilema: I have little money - just about enough for a ticket, but if I go with mum, she will pay for me. Mum can't really afford her own ticket, let alone mine. I don't want my mum to miss out but I'm not sure if she'll even like the film. My friends invited me and I don't want to let them down. By going with my friends I won't be embarrassed about going with my mum but that's unfair on her. I'll get a bit left out in the discussions if I don't go with my friends and I already feel as if I'm growing apart from them. I love both and I just don't know who to go with... I'll feel guilty either way...


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Re: Who to pick? - April 28th 2011, 05:45 PM

I'd go with your friends, your mum wont take it so bad. Iv'e had something similar dinner with mum or out shopping with friends. I told my mum I'm going with my friends and she was fine with it. Your mum needs to understand it could be embarrassing for you to go see the movie with her and you want to go with your friends. My mum treats me like i'm five and i have told her that i don't want to go places with her. It's really your choice and whoever you want to go with, go with.


   
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Re: Who to pick? - April 28th 2011, 10:45 PM

Did your mom ask you to go to the movies with her, or did you convince her to go to the movies with you? If your mom asked you, then I would go with your mom. She may not like the movie, but she wants to hang out with you. And since she asked you first (and you made plans with her first), it's only right that you hold up your end of the bargain. She may feel pretty awful if you bail out on your mommy-daughter night at the movies. If you're worried that she won't like the film, ask her if there's anything else she'd rather see! Then you could have your mom pay for that movie on Monday, while you see Beastly with your friends on Saturday.

If you originally asked your mom to see the movie with you, then I would sit down with her and ask if she would like to do anything else on Monday. If she still wants to see a movie, then go with the plan you've already made with her. If she'd rather have dinner with you or enjoy a cup of coffee instead, then go with that plan. It may be cheaper than watching a movie, not to mention that you'll have more opportunities to talk with your mom! Then you can make plans to see Beastly with your friends on Saturday.

Whatever you do, DON'T tell your mom you would feel embarrassed to go with her to the movies. Parents understand that their children want to hang out with friends, but no parent likes to be told that they're embarrassing to hang out with. Your mother has feelings, too! =)






   
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Re: Who to pick? - April 29th 2011, 03:16 PM

I would go with your mother That is, if she brought up the outing. If she brought it up, go with her. You have to keep your parental relationships stronger, they will benefit you all throughout your life, I promise you.

However, on the other side of the streets, if you brought it up you could suggest a change of plans. Something less expensive or free, so you could pay for your ticket for Beastly. Or even ask one of your friends to lend you some money.

So really your path is based on what the situation is. Just don't take your relationship with your mother for granted. Trust me, it is not a good thing to choose.

Hope this helps!


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Re: Who to pick? - April 29th 2011, 04:34 PM

honestly, i think you should go with your since she asked you first. And your mom is always going to be there for you.. Friends come and go. some stick and some doesnt. but your mom is still your mom and deserves some fun time with you. even if she doesnt like the film its still spending time with her.. your friends should understand since its your mom and she asked first. One day you wont have her around and wished you would have taken the time to spend a few more minutes with her.. So my opinion is go with her.. either way you choose, its your choice. and both your mom and friends will understand.. but take it into consideration that your mom wants to spend time with you and you have all the free time after that to spend with friends.


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Re: Who to pick? - April 30th 2011, 11:18 AM

So I talked to mum about it and she said she doesn't like the sound of the film but if I want to go then she'll come with me. So instead I'm going to go on a bike ride with her and go to the cinema with my friends, although I'm cycling today and cinema on monday. Thanks for the help


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