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Anduriel Offline
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Question - March 7th 2009, 11:43 PM

I have two..."friends" I know. I always have to start a conversation or they won't talk to me. They have no problem talking to other people they know. Can I safely assume they don't wish to talk to me and only do so because of some sense of politeness or pity?
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Rosemma Offline
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Re: Question - March 7th 2009, 11:57 PM

I dont know how to answer that because no one can tell what they are thinking.

What Id say is... I never start conversations with people, even people I like and want to talk to, I just cant do it... I feel awful and loose friends and never gain any new ones.

Dont assume they dont want to talk to you but try to find out. Once you start talking to them, whats the conversation like? How interested are they and how do they reply? How long or much do they talk?

They could be shy or they could be polite.
   
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Anduriel Offline
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Re: Question - March 8th 2009, 12:01 AM

It's usually a pause of a few minutes between replies (I'd call but I'm too afraid). I can't really gauge their level of interest from words on a screen, but with one his interest was good if we talked about a computer game.
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Rosemma Offline
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Re: Question - March 8th 2009, 12:23 AM

I do think a pause of a few minutes is normal as they could be talking to others on the internet at the same time or doing other things.
It is hard to tell how interested someone is over the internet... but talking about something you have in common like the computer game is good and sounds like a positive thing.

Maybe they are just mutual friends that dont know you well yet?
Its not that they dont want to talk to you but they havent got to know you that well.
You could try keep talking to them about things you have in common and see what happens.

Also if they really didnt want to talk to you they could always block you on their contact list or delete you.
So as long as you can see them online there probably isnt a problem.
If they decide to stop then its their loss.
   
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Re: Question - March 8th 2009, 12:41 AM

Don't assume anything about their intentions toward you, especially if you only communicate online. The fact that they let you initiate could mean they're shy/not sure you want to be friends with them/busy with stuff. Again, common interests are a good way to get conversations going, and maybe learn more about them so you can get closer if you wish. If they really didn't like you but were only being polite, I doubt they would always reply. But talking in person (if possible), on the phone or even texting can give you a better idea of how interested they are in the talk.


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Re: Question - March 8th 2009, 04:25 PM

Hey Vincent,

I don't think you should be able to assume that they only talk to you out of pity. I don't think that's the case at all. Some people don't like to start conversations and some people take a while to reply. They may want to talk about something, but don't know that you would be interested.

The best thing you can do is to keep on talking to them. Find out what they like to talk about and what you both like to talk about and go from there.

Nat.


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