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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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SessyRocks Offline
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How do you move on? - March 8th 2009, 07:50 AM

How do you move on when you've let someone go in your life? How do you stop feeling angry at them for what they've done to you? Is it okay to miss them, even if they never respected you? Also, how do you make sure you don't make friends with people that are going to disrespect you? How do you find good friends? I could really use someone to talk to.
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Re: How do you move on? - March 8th 2009, 04:23 PM

Hey there!
I completely understand your situation.

It's okay to miss someone who was a big part of your life - and if you had good times with them then there is always going to be a part of you that longs for that back as the times you spent together obviously contributed to your life in one way or another so you have to be thankful for that.
It's important to learn to forgive them for what they've done to you though; so as to move on with your life and to shake off all that negative hatred and bitterness you may feel towards them at the same time.

Learn to focus all your energy on just being you in every possible social situation and hopefully you will click with some new people and form new friendships. Don't seem weary in new friendships - like you're watching their motives carefully as this can sometimes be off-putting; you may want to just mention that you may come across as uneasy or uncomfortable at first as you've been let down by people in the past - and maybe these new people will relate to you and hey presto...you have something in common :]
You don't really "find" good friends....it's all a matter of chance and time; being in the right place at the right time really - just make sure you're open to trying many different things such as new clubs, being part of organisations etc - so as to broaden your options of finding new friends.

take care x


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Re: How do you move on? - March 8th 2009, 04:38 PM

Hi Sessy,

I know exactly how you're feeling right now. I've gone through a very similar situation. This is one of those things that takes time to get over. You may be mad and angry and frustrated with this person, but what it all comes down to is that they're gone. You're not going to get treated badly by them anymore. If you had good times with this person, then try to remember those. It is okay to miss them, so don't feel bad about that.

Making good friends takes some time as well, and I think Lisa had some great ideas about that. Joining clubs and groups really helps to meet people and be social. The more people you talk to and get to know, the greater the chance of meeting a good friend.

Nat.


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Re: How do you move on? - March 8th 2009, 04:44 PM

One of the best ways you can move on is to make sure that when you meet people, you don't compare them to the person that hurt you. Realize that the person that hurt you is not everyone else, so it's only fair to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Friendships always have positives points, so missing someone even though they've hurt you isn't anything unusual.
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Re: How do you move on? - March 8th 2009, 09:31 PM

Hey Sessy. I know exactly how you feel, as recently I went through the exact same thing - my friend hurt me a lot and we stopped talking, yet it still hurt and I missed being her friend. I think you just need to remind yourself that the friendship you were in really hurt you. Look around and see that while you might miss this person, when you were in the frienship it took a lot of your happiness away and really hurt you. This person definitely isn't worth any of your time anymore.

Try to spend your time meeting new people who you can hang out with and talk to, and try not to distract yourself by being absorbed in conversations with people, so that your mind doesn't wander to this person so much anymore. And above all else, time will heal this kind of thing. Just try to hang out with different friends for the time being.

I know what you're going through right now probably hurts, but you will feel better sooner or later. Hang in there. x





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