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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy Is my father abusive, and what should i do? - May 18th 2011, 09:28 PM

I believe my father is abusive. Im 14 years old, and have two little sisters. He yells at my mom when he dosen't get his way, but when he has a bad day, he just explodes at us. For no reason, or a very stupid reason. I'm not the most athletic kid, and i really likes to play video games.But here comes my dad, and he tells me to get my lazy ass up and do my work. The work he makes me do, i hate(weeding,ect) and when i asked for an allowance(which i deserve) he says " your allowance is me letting you live under my roof!"

When i get my grades (through the mail) i get very nervous. My dad is expecting me to get A's, but im an A-C student. Once, i was failing Home + Carrers, and he started FLIPPING OUT at me. I was sitting in a chair, and he put his hands around my neck, and he screamed, "IF YOU DONT GET BETTER GRADES, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I WILL THROW YOU OUT THAT WINDOW!" It scared me to the point of where i couldn't breath because my crying. I'm not sure if I could tell anybody, because when he's around other people, he could get the "father-of-the-year" award.

When he makes me help him around the house( which he does often) he expects me to know everything. When i don't know what a certain tool is, he says, "Oh my god, DONT YOU KNOW ANYTHING!" He always puts me down by saying im retarded, and that i dont have any common-sense. He's also the worlds biggest hypocrite. If i ask him to get me something, he says "Get off of your lazy ass and get it yourself!" But when he's sitting down on his lazy ass, and tells me to get him something, i have to. If i don't, he would scream at me more. I remember him calling me a "worthless piece of shit". I sometimes have thoughts of suicide.

I dont know what to do... can somebody please help me? What can i do?

((UPDATE)) 5/18/11:: While working in pole-barn, my dad was working on a scaffolding. He needed help, but didn't say anything, because he thought he could do it himself. He got mad, because he couldn't get the 2nd level on, and then yells at me, " Could you help me, instead of standing there with your finger up your ass?!" So I go over there, but i don't know what to do, so i give him a puzzled look. He FLIPS OUT, screaming "I SWEAR TO GOD, GIVE ME THAT LOOK AGAIN, AND I'LL FUCKING KNOCK YOU OUT!" I start crying, and then he asks, " WHY ARE YOU CRYING!?" I told him it's because he just threatened to knock me out.He straight out tells me, " What are you gonna do about it?!" : He tells me to stop crying, and I told him that you can't tell someone to stop crying, and expect them to stop. He told me in a strict voice, " The first time you talk back to me, it'll be your last." Then what really pisses me off is he said," Tell the cops, and your ass will be on the streets!"

HELP ME

Last edited by throwawaylifeball; May 19th 2011 at 12:41 AM. Reason: UPDATE
   
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Re: Is my father abusive, and what should i do? - May 18th 2011, 10:19 PM

Do you have anyone you can talk to about this? Like a trusted teacher, guidance counselor, or another adult? It is definitely emotional abuse, and a little physical abuse since he put his hands around your neck. You need to talk to someone about this and get help for you and your dad, such as family counseling or something, and if worse comes to worse, you could always be made to live with a relative.


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Re: Is my father abusive, and what should i do? - May 19th 2011, 12:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by hidmemory View Post
Do you have anyone you can talk to about this? Like a trusted teacher, guidance counselor, or another adult? It is definitely emotional abuse, and a little physical abuse since he put his hands around your neck. You need to talk to someone about this and get help for you and your dad, such as family counseling or something, and if worse comes to worse, you could always be made to live with a relative.
Not really... i dont have time, and my mom really dosent do anything
   
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Re: Is my father abusive, and what should i do? - May 19th 2011, 02:07 AM

Hey Joe,

I'm really sorry these things are happening to you. It's not fair that you have to go through this. You deserve better than this, and you need to get help. He IS abusing you; most definitely emotionally, and if physically in the instance you described. He threatens to kick you out and put you on the streets, but honestly, (DONT say this to him in any way, shape, or form (obviously)) that would be better than putting yourself in danger by being around him when he blows up.

I would suggest talking to a teacher, pastor, or other trusted adult. You've said your mother doesn't or can't do anything about it, so you need to seek outside help. The police could help as well. If you're afraid of doing that immediately, at least seek guidance from one of the many hotlines out there for abuse. If you can't find any, I can give you some. Please get help. You deserve it.

God bless,
Michelle


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Re: Is my father abusive, and what should i do? - May 19th 2011, 02:26 AM

In my opinion the "it will be your last" implies a death threat. This abusive behavior is definitely not acceptable by any means and indeed you should tell someone as soon as possible.
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