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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy She won't even acknowledge me - May 24th 2011, 03:06 AM

She's my best friend, we've been friends for years. 7 months ago I made a huge mistake and it ended in me transferring high schools. We still talk and she's the only who knows everything about me as I know almost everything about her. She always comes to me for advice and we always lean on each other. If her other friends are hurting her emotionally she comes to me, if I accidentally hurt her which hasn't happened in years, she vents at me and I'm fine with that. Almost all of her friends except the person who has been her best friend since they were little, has hurt her and she would come to me. So why is it that every time I log onto facebook or twitter all I see on her posts is, "So and so is amazing!" or "So and so is the best friend ever!!!! " or one of the latest ones "I can't wait to see so and so" It's been like this for months, I left school in September and even then we were almost as close as we are now, I mean how we can tell each other anything. My point being I left in September, it's now May, that was 7 months ago. We've only gotten closer and yet every friend she's ever had issues with is always the people she mentions as her best friends or she can't wait to see them. Why not me? Why not the person who was there with her through thick and thin, when her mom beat her to the point she had trouble breathing and her mom just left her alone, who talked her through that? Oh yeah me. Or who was it that was there when ever her mother would bring over a stranger and she was scarred because of the things she heard? Me. Or who was it that would get a call at 10 at night and be asked to come over so someone was there with her so her mom couldn't beat her or scar her like that again? Oh yeah me. So why won't she ever mention me? It's like I mean nothing to her even though I've always been there and she even says that when we're texting, but she dare not say anything about me in public or online.


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Re: She won't even acknowledge me - May 25th 2011, 01:04 AM

Hello, Cheye!

Perhaps your friend is making a big deal about acknowledging her other "friends" via Facebook and Twitter, because she's trying to strengthen her connections with them. She already knows that you're her friend, probably her best and most trustworthy friend, so she may not feel like there's any need to acknowledge you. I've found this is often the case with my own friends. They'll often acknowledge people that they want to become closer to, but they won't acknowledge the people they are already close to. Does that make sense?

If it's truly bothering you, then why not talk to your friend about it? If she's as good of a friend as you say she is, then she should be able to hear you out and respond without getting upset. It's all about in how you deliver your point, though. Don't attack her or accuse her of doing anything with the intention of hurting your feelings, because that will just put her on the defensive. Instead, make some remark like, "I think it's sweet that you're always acknowledging your friends on Facebook and Twitter. I would love it if we could do the same for each other." Notice how you're not making any demands? You're just making an observation, and leading her to conclude that you would like something to change in your friendship with her. =)






   
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Re: She won't even acknowledge me - May 28th 2011, 08:00 AM

I took your advice and mentioned her in a status on facebook, and she commented that she was happy she was mentioned, I just hope she gets it but if not I'm going to talk to her about it and that makes sense too.


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Re: She won't even acknowledge me - May 28th 2011, 09:21 PM

Another thing could be that you don't "Belong" in her group anymore. I mean everyone has facebook friends who don't really know them, most people try to act different to keep a public image. I doubt it's personal, and I mean if right now I said: Johnny has a situation just like this.
Would you understand who Johnny is? Probably not. Because you are no longer in her group she probably avoids discussing you because no one else in the group knows you or cares as much as she does.

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