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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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SnapCracklePop Offline
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Question My friend thinks she's ugly.. - May 24th 2011, 04:55 PM

She has such low self esteem, and I don't know how to cheer her up..
She honestly IS one of the most beautiful people I've ever met, and I've always wished I could look like her. I've tried telling her she's beautiful but she just doesn't believe me.
Any ideas?

Oh, and I've tried sending her positive songs and all that.. And I made her this magazine type thing, and she liked it but it didn't seem to cheer her up

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Re: My friend thinks she's ugly.. - May 24th 2011, 06:20 PM

I have friends like this too.. Actually sometimes I act this way as well.

It sounds like you're a really good friend and shes lucky to have you there for her. Honestly, there isn't one big thing you can do, at a certain point she may start believing you. Something I do when I feel really ugly is name ten things I like about myself, either looks or personality wise.

It really helps.

Just remember that you can't convince her of it in one gesture, she'll get there eventually.

Good luck. <3
   
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Re: My friend thinks she's ugly.. - May 24th 2011, 06:33 PM

I have a few ideas that she can do, she just needs to be willing to do them, then you're all set!

The first thing that she can do, and you can help, is a self esteem jar. What you should have her do is get a pack of note cards. On these note cards she can write any positive thing that she likes about herself, self esteem quotes and positive affirmations. After she has done that, she can get a shoe box and put in all the not cards folded in half. If she wants, she can decorate the box and cards. Every morning, she can pull out one card (and you can help remind her) and read it. She then can carry the card for the day all day. When she is feeling bad about herself, she can oull out the note card and read it again. I've found this to be helpful.


Also, from a website, I found seven ways to boost your self esteem. :]

1) Think back to when you did something new for the first time.
What happens when you learn and accomplish something for the first time by yourself? You feel great about yourself! This is a good way to help you feel better about yourself. :]

2) Do something you have been putting off.
These are things like homework, cleaning your room, calling your friend, hanging with your family, etc. By doing these things, there will be a sense of accomplishment for getting it done.

3) Do something you are good at.
What are you good at? Swimming, dancing, singing, writing, drawing, helping people, math, etc? Do one of these activities once a week. By doing something you know you're good at, you're sure to master it, and that feels great!

4) Stop thinking about yourself!
I know this is going to sound weird, but having low self esteem is somewhat to do to too much thought about oneself.

5) Get seriously relaxed.
If you are feeling low, anxious or lacking in confidence, the thing to do is to stop thinking and relax. You can relaz by exercising, watching tv, taking a bath, reading a book, writing, listening to music, etc.

6) Remember all the things you have achieved.
Make a list of all the things that you have done in your life. After you look at the list, you realize that you've actually done quite a bit, and you're more inclined to feel better about yourself.

7) Remember that you could be wrong!
If you are feeling bad about yourself, remember that you way you feel will affect your thoughts, and behavior. So when you feel bad, you will only remember the bad times, and will tend to feel bad about yourself.

And by "you", I mean your friend.
Click HERE for the website.


Hope this helped!


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Re: My friend thinks she's ugly.. - May 25th 2011, 08:24 PM

Okay, thanks for your help
   
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