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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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I guess I just want that "support system" - May 25th 2011, 03:47 PM

So i'm kinda mind blank at the moment even though yesterday I had sooo much to say on this topic. I guess it's just that since i'm home-schooled i'm alone ALOT, but I don't really have a "family" like were not that close, like when I was littel I remember watching re-runs of "7th Heaven" and I remember me and my sister always wanted that supportive, loveing, Christian family that sat down at the dinner table every evening and had dinner together, and that went on vacations together and, played boardgames on the livingroom floor together, and that would go to church together. We went to school with these 2 girls named Bree and Kristy they were sisters. They came from this amazing Christian family and they were basically the kinda family that I just explained. We were always so jealous of them because their mom was the typical housewife/supermom who cooked and cleaned and she was one of the moms who would come to school for the holiday parties and she was one of the classroom moms who helped out. They would always tell me and my siblings about their homelife like their vacations, and church, and just their family. I watch "Kate Plus 8" alot too and I see how they're close they do things with one-another, and interact with one-another no matter how much drama there was they're a family. I mean I even do like simple things on my own like going on evening walks, or catching fireflies, or washing my car, or camping in the backyard, or swimming in the swimming pool, or going to evening church (I do go to church ALOT) or even just goin out for ice cream or goin to wal-mart for a bottle of shaving gel. basically do all that alone I don't really have a "support system". I go to church every Sunday and I wear my skirts and high-heels and a big smile on my face but secretly i'm jealous of all the happy Christian families that some of my best friends come from. Last Sunday I went to a small gathering at my youth ministers house after church it was only me and 2 other teenage girls and some adults but I see how they're this happy Christian family who lives in this big fancy house with a trampoline in the backyard and I don't have that I don't have a pleasant functional family like that so i'm alone all the time. I also rmember going to church with my grandma when I was littel I only went a few times and I remember goin to a wedding with her I just really remember how everyone at her church was like this one big happy Christian family like at the wedding, I just wish I could have an actual "family" like that instead of just my friends from church! Another thing is all the girls that ued to go to my church that I used to look up to are now all leaving and seperateing themselves from the christian lifesyle like there was a girl named KK and she doesn't come to church anymore because she met a new bf shes around 16 same age as me she was going to church when I first went there 2 years ago, and also theres a girl named Amylee she is 17 and she was brought up in one of those "happy christian" familys and she moved in with her bf and she's a huge alcaholic now and doesn't come to church anymore people say she's going to become pregnant within maybe 4 months and then there's Emma and she is 14 and she just got a bf and she is one of the girls that I look up to as an influence. These girls have always been the gracefull, lady like, well-behaved, sweet, polite Christian girls that dress appropriate and sit up strait with a smile on their face but I feel kinda LET DOWN because they're all changing and turning into these rebel girls and I looked up to them.


~~you doubted me then, but look at me now~~

Last edited by oceaneyes95; May 25th 2011 at 07:06 PM.
   
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Re: I guess I just want that "support system" - May 28th 2011, 10:18 PM

Hello, Lilli!

My parents were Christian "in name", if that makes sense. Basically, we went to church every Sunday, they enrolled me in private Christian schools through 8th grade, then everything stopped once they separated/I reached high school. It's difficult now, because I'm in college and see how close my Christian friends are to their parents. They have a security in them that I've never really had, at least not on a spiritual level. Nevertheless, I've made the best of my situation, and I'm afraid that's what you'll have to do as well.

You didn't really describe your parents in detail, so I don't know how your family is "dysfunctional". Are they just never around? Are they abusive? Depending on the circumstances, I think it may be helpful to talk to your parents about how you're feeling. If they don't want to go to church and do "family nights", then that's their choice; however, you may be able to spend more one-on-one time with them, emotionally bonding with them in some fashion. "Bonding" with my dad consists of playing video games, and "bonding" with my mom consists of eating meals together. It's not ideal... I'd love to have a "perfect" family... but at least I have SOMETHING with my parents.

As for your friends... well, this is probably something you DON'T hear often in church, but it's pretty common for young adults to question their faith. When you're raised as a Christian, you start off by accepting everything you hear. Once you reach adolescence, however, it's natural to question the validity of the Bible. If you don't have the right support, you can rebel for a while, or abandon the faith altogether. My advice is to pray for those friends, and let them know you're praying for them. Whatever is causing them to turn away from Christianity, encourage them to read the Word and actively seek out the answers they're looking for. Chances are, they've never actually done that... they've just followed their parents' lead! There's also a good chance that your friends want to "fool around" with their boyfriends, but know it's wrong according to the Bible... so because there's a conflict of interests, they're choosing to do what they want now and put the Word out of their minds for the time being. Again, the best thing you can do is pray for them. Oftentimes, people who struggle with their faith have to come to realizations on their own... nothing fellow religious individuals can say or do will change their minds.






   
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