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Is this normal? - May 28th 2011, 05:52 AM

Back story: best friend and I tried a relationship, she got worried about losing me, so we ended it.

Present day: my best friend is very touchy feely with me. As of late, even more so when we were in a relationship. When we hang out at her or my house she either leans against me, snuggles me, holds hands, or rests her head in my lap. Every time, without fail. Recently she stuck her head under my shirt... And stayed there for the remainder of the time I was there exclaiming how warm my stomach was. In school she would either be hugging me, moving in to hug me, finishing a hug with me, holding my hand, or she would be sick and not there. When we go to a movie, she snuggles up against me. The last two she grabbed my arm and put it over her shoulders. It feels a lot like a relationship minus the sexual stuff. Now, I guess what I am really wondering is if this is normal friend behavior?

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Re: Is this normal? - May 28th 2011, 06:23 AM

Depends on how well you know each other. The head under the shirt thing isn't something I would consider normal, or at least I would never do it...but everything else, fairly normal. I've got a friend who I'm always holding hands with when we're out, we're always hugging each other, and he picks me up and carries me just about anywhere within walking distance I want to go. We're both in relationships so of course it drives my boyfriend and his girlfriend crazy. In fact, I would say I do more with my friend than I do with my boyfriend (that's a dying relationship, though).

My friend and I were in a relationship twice, it didn't work out either time. Though he's not really interested in dating me anymore he did have a crush on me for 4 years and probably still likes me a bit. I put up with what he does because I like being close to people and I don't feel he's stepping over any boundaries. So it could be possible that your best friend still likes you a bit. She could be attempting to get you to ask her out again or maybe she wants to be friends with benefits. Or maybe she feels rather unloved so needs the extra attention right now. I don't think it matters so much if it's normal friend behavior - it just matters if it's normal to you. That is, set your boundaries. Maybe you don't mind her leaning against you, but you don't want her holding your hand...just as an example. So if you feel that way, don't let her do it. Friends being close and going slightly outside normal friend behavior is fine, as long as both people are okay with it. So if you don't mind, don't worry. And if you do, set those limits!


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Re: Is this normal? - May 28th 2011, 02:36 PM

That is exactly what I needed to hear, thank you very much
   
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