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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Question Don't know what to do. - May 29th 2011, 08:27 AM

My grandpa and I really do not get along. I love him and all but we are exactly the same, heard headed, and we won't back down to each other,so we fight a lot. I always think to myself that I love and hate him, and I still think that... but I am scared. I am scared that he is going to die, he has cancer and is very old now, so I don't know how much time he has left. He thinks his time is almost up, he has been really bad. I am scared that he is going to die thinking I hate him. I truly love him... I just don't know how to tell or show him. Advise? Any and all please...


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Re: Don't know what to do. - May 29th 2011, 06:48 PM

As far as telling him goes, you can just say, "I love you," or write him a letter conveying how much you love him despite your conflicting personalities. That's the easy part - it's just a matter of setting your pride (or whatever you would call it) aside in order to tell him how you truly feel.

As far as showing him goes, take things one small step at a time. Identify the things that set you off, and slowly learn to change the way you respond. If there are small things you do that suggest you "hate" your grandpa (ex. hanging up on him when you get angry, refusing to look him in the eye while having dinner together), you can work toward behaving differently. When you start doing those small things, just stop for a moment and think about what you're doing. I know that's hard to do - it doesn't get any easy the older you get! - but the bottom-line is that you're in control of your actions, and if you truly desire to change for the better, you can.

I am sorry to hear about your grandpa's ailing health. I hope he has many more years ahead of him, so that he can enjoy his time with his lovely granddaughter, and vice versa. =)






   
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Re: Don't know what to do. - May 29th 2011, 11:56 PM

I'm so sorry about your grandfather. That must be really tough on you. I agree with Robin about writing a letter. In that letter tell him that you know that you don't get along, but you really do love him and you will miss him. And keep in mind, actions speak loud than words, so maybe go visit him, or make him his favorite food? It's going to feel weird at first because you don't get along well, but it gets easier. And you're going to be glad that you did these small things for him.


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