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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
emma01 Offline
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May 29th 2011, 10:49 AM

Okay so im in a group of 13 we are all quite close but recently ive noticed out of those...only 2 or 3 actually seem to like me.

As most of you know I have had anorexia, and I am recovering from that. I am super happy now and working towards a healthy lifestyle, but my friends keep bringing me down so bad. I eat the same thing at school everyday, mainly because I am shit scared of what they will think of me, if I have a bit less...they think I am not eating, if I eat a bit more they think I am putting on a show to make it look as though im eating, and if i eat something different, they daren't let that fact go amiss, and make it seem like I am able to fly, yet when I eat the same, they assume its ED behaviour.
Most of them are on diets, 1 bigger girl is now only eating carrot sticks, celery and salad at school, 2 seldom bring their lunch and one takes almost as long analysing the calorie content of stuff as she takes to eat it. Its super frustrating that they watch me and analyse everything I say and do.

They also say me and my best friend are 'depressing to be around' well duh - with mates like you lot who wouldn't be. They make jokes about me behind my back and one said "i sat on the depressing side today" well, great joke guys, my best friend has depression and is on pills, yet funny enough shes not the only one out of the group, she never comes to school crying or sits in the corner seeking attention though, she doesnt drag one person out of the room to whisper a secret to. She tries so hard to be happy and it works!!

Another thing - no i do not want to date guys yet, but no I am not gay!!! One of my friends said my mum (single parent) was influencing me to like girls, and the only reason she got with my dad was to have me. Now this really set me off and I HATE this girl now. I hate my friends at school.

I run now, and my running friends are truly amazing, they are supportive, caring, fun and kind. I eat whatever I like in front of them, I am completely happy and normalised around them, likewise at home. At school, my friends are slowly hurting me and I am starting to truly hate the girls who i thought were nice. Anorexia may have scared them, may have made them stressed and worried, but EMMA has done nothing to hurt them, but now anorexia is gone...they are getting revenge on EMMA (my true self) Thanks for listening, glad I got that off my chest!!!


Sorry its not really written well, i am on my ipod in bed at 11pm, but couldn't sleep till I got that off my chest!!!

Last edited by PSY; May 29th 2011 at 06:51 PM. Reason: Merged consecutive posts.
   
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Littlebylittle Offline
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Re: Little rant about my so called 'friends' - May 29th 2011, 03:25 PM

Honestly, they don't seem like true friends to me!
I'm assuming your running friends aren't at school with you?
If i was you i'd tell your 'friends' from school to f off, you can do better than them!
If anorexia scares them, how do they think you have felt, having it?
You are overcoming anorexia, your clearly somebody very strong.
Stick to your running friends, and if they're not at school with you, make new friends!
And its great that you don't want to start getting into lads, lots of teens, too immature to handle it are nowadays - that makes you an even stronger person.
Good luck, and tell all the people bringing you down where to go!


"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything, requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who beleive"
"Little by little, one walks far"
"If your going through hell, keep going"


   
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PSY Offline
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Re: Little rant about my so called 'friends' - May 29th 2011, 06:54 PM

Ditch these so-called "friends". At best, they'll keep tearing you down. At worst, they could make you more vulnerable to relapsing. You simply can't risk being around these people anymore, Emma. If you don't feel like meeting new people right off the bat, why not have your lunch inside the library, or somewhere else that's quiet and relaxing, where you can be alone and focus on homework or enjoy a good book? (Don't tell your "friends" why you're no longer hanging out with them or where you've gone... they sound like the type of people who would go out of their way to harass you.)






   
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Re: Little rant about my so called 'friends' - May 29th 2011, 07:15 PM

That is really awful of them to do. They don't sound like good friends at all. Emma, you are worth more than the crap they give you. It's great that you've found friends who are supportive of you. I also started to run after I decided to make an effort to live more healthfully and I found friendship in some of the nicest people. You should be surrounding yourself with more of these friends because they can be a positive influence. Your well being is your first priority. ♥


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emma01 Offline
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Re: Little rant about my so called 'friends' - May 29th 2011, 07:36 PM

Thanks so much for the responses guys!!! I would love to be able to ditch them, but I am at that stage at school where the groups are pretty much set in concrete, and I wouldnt be able to just make new friends. Plus, my two closest friends, gina and Cate are in my group, and I love being around them!!! My running friends aren't at my school, but I only see them once a week. They can't really be my only mates. I think what I am going to do is try hard to ignore it, ever since writing this last night, I have become determined not to let them win, i am taking a normal sized lunch today...see what comments are made. I think and hope they will get sick of using my illness as their only drama in their lives, and the no.1 thing to talk about!!
   
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Re: Little rant about my so called 'friends' - May 29th 2011, 08:08 PM

Yeah i understand about the friends, group thing its hard, especially with girls, guys seem to just be able to go off with whoever but girls remind me of herd animals.. anyway!

Okay well seen as its such a big group of friends, yeah you could just ignore it, and if they make comments about your food, then just give a short, smart answer back, smile and eat and say no more, as im guessing your not looking for a fight
As long as you have some close friends in the group, you don't even need to talke to these horrible ones


"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything, requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who beleive"
"Little by little, one walks far"
"If your going through hell, keep going"


   
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