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Harmony♥ Offline
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Was in the wrong here? - May 30th 2011, 05:50 PM

Hey everyone!

Hope you had a fabulous Memorial Day weekend!

So, let's start with the beginning. Last Monday, I had decided that I wanted to go out with some friends to a local pool hall. My boyfriend was there, along with several close friends of ours, including this girl (We'll call her L). L has been know to have quite the reputation, even going as far as sleeping with my ex and almostsleeping with my current boyfriend (As far as the cheating, I was with my ex at the time. As far as the current boyfriend, we were not together at the time). Don't get me wrong, I've let bygones be bygones, and L was not the problem here.

At the beginning of the night, I was making jokes with my boyfriend that this was his date night with L. He joked around back with me saying that it was, indeed. I was already pretty upset for other reasons that night, and as I stepped outside with two other friends to have a cigarette, our mutual friend Lee made a comment to me about something my boyfriend had said. I already knew a part of it, that he had driven out here (We live about twenty minutes apart) to hang out with L and to see everyone else. Well, Lee said something to me that implied more than just wanting to hang out with her. I got pretty upset, so me and my friend Shaun decided to walk down the street for a minute so I could let out the tears.

The night wore on, everyone went their separate ways, and the next morning, I informed my boyfriend about what our friend had said. He was pretty upset about it, but nothing was brought up again until last night. My boyfriend's parents were throwing their first big party of the summer, to which I had invited Lee and my friend Shaun. As they were getting ready to leave, I jumped in the shower to wash out the green dye I had let the little kids put in my hair, and I joined them by their car afterward. My boyfriend had brought up the situation, and I thought things were cleared up then.

Today, I get a 3 page text from Lee saying that he was pissed off that I implied that he said anything at all to me about anything. Since Shaun didn't hear what was going on, I don't have a witness, so now I just look like an idiot. I told him that the next time he says something like that, to word it differently, or to say it in a different way so conclusions won't be jumped too. I also think he's mad that I told my boyfriend about it, but how could I not?

He said it was over and done with, but he keeps bringing it up. Was I in the wrong for mentioning anything to my boyfriend? Was I in the wrong to be so upset about what had been said? Was I wrong to imply there was more to what he was saying? I hate fighting with friends, but I also hate the fact that he thinks I'm going to hide something of importance from my boyfriend.

Help!











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Re: Was in the wrong here? - May 30th 2011, 07:26 PM

It's a bit difficult to give an accurate answer for some of your questions because you didn't mention what was said. Specifically, when you ask if you were wrong for implying there was something more to what he said, it's hard to give an answer because I don't know what he said so that question cannot be adequately answered.

The question of were you wrong for being so upset is again a difficult one to answer for the same reason above. The fact you burst into tears and had Shaun console you once away from others suggests whatever was said struck a nerve. Beyond that, I cant answer it as I don't know what was said.

The question that can easily be answered is whether you were wrong for telling your boyfriend about it. I believe you were not wrong in doing so because whatever Lee said upset you and you have a close bond with your boyfriend, so it's natural you would tell him what was wrong (or he asks then you tell). It's like asking whether you were wrong for telling your parents about a bully at school who bruised your ribs. I'm assuming he did not tell you to hide what was said from your boyfriend, in which case, he's being childish. Even if he did tell you that, the fact he would want you to hide it is quite arrogant, so again I would say it's not wrong.

You don't need a witness to support the fact Lee said something to you because his 3-page long text confirms you two had a discussion. People don't give 3-page long texts for no reason, especially when it's focused on a particular subject written to someone they know. Furthermore, given the length of the text, it suggests he was arguing why he didn't say something to you but again, that is highly unusual.

It's akin to a teacher asking Johnny why he bullied Bobby with the chair and Johnny gives a harangue why he is innocent using details of the event. Obviously Johnny couldn't give such clear details if he wasn't there, which is the most likely and reasonable conclusion to draw.


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Harmony♥ Offline
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Re: Was in the wrong here? - May 30th 2011, 10:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Man And XX Master View Post
It's a bit difficult to give an accurate answer for some of your questions because you didn't mention what was said. Specifically, when you ask if you were wrong for implying there was something more to what he said, it's hard to give an answer because I don't know what he said so that question cannot be adequately answered.

The question of were you wrong for being so upset is again a difficult one to answer for the same reason above. The fact you burst into tears and had Shaun console you once away from others suggests whatever was said struck a nerve. Beyond that, I cant answer it as I don't know what was said.

The question that can easily be answered is whether you were wrong for telling your boyfriend about it. I believe you were not wrong in doing so because whatever Lee said upset you and you have a close bond with your boyfriend, so it's natural you would tell him what was wrong (or he asks then you tell). It's like asking whether you were wrong for telling your parents about a bully at school who bruised your ribs. I'm assuming he did not tell you to hide what was said from your boyfriend, in which case, he's being childish. Even if he did tell you that, the fact he would want you to hide it is quite arrogant, so again I would say it's not wrong.

You don't need a witness to support the fact Lee said something to you because his 3-page long text confirms you two had a discussion. People don't give 3-page long texts for no reason, especially when it's focused on a particular subject written to someone they know. Furthermore, given the length of the text, it suggests he was arguing why he didn't say something to you but again, that is highly unusual.

It's akin to a teacher asking Johnny why he bullied Bobby with the chair and Johnny gives a harangue why he is innocent using details of the event. Obviously Johnny couldn't give such clear details if he wasn't there, which is the most likely and reasonable conclusion to draw.
Ugh. I totally had forgotten to mention what was said. I can't remember what was said word for word, but I can try to give you the gist of what was said.

Lee had said "Yeah, Kris told me that he came out here to hang out with Laura. He said that was the only reason why he came out here, and because it was much more convenient to hang out with each other."

While this doesn't sound bad at all, the way he presented himself, and the way he said it on top of the look on his face all suggested that something was said beyond that statement.

Thanks for your reply though. I hope this helps answer the other questions that I have! <3











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