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Help - June 2nd 2011, 10:08 PM

i been having so many problems with my step mom even my dad i dont understand they get mad but they dont tell me why i even ask they just say you should know why how am i suppose to fix it if i dont i gotten to the point im afraid to just ask a simple question afraid they will get mad or say my opinon because i know my step mom will say i dont think that i hate this even when i have good grades All B's and one C so i dont understand whats the problem here sometimes i just want to give up and just say u win and just sit there and be quiet then maybe i wont get yelled at anymore




Life is too

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It at war with

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Iím catching stars in the sky because I am fixing the soul within me. May it be from the heart a girl broke years ago or my soul simply repairing itself as it was shattered on my walk on this earth. May the stardust fill those cracks within my soul making me brand new, but never forgetting who I once was.


   
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Re: Help - June 3rd 2011, 05:21 PM

Next time they get mad at you, think about the situation for a moment, then phrase a question in the following way:

"So, from what I understand, you're angry because I _______/because of _______. Is that correct?"

I hope this makes sense... hear me out. Your parents are probably getting upset for two reasons: 1) They feel like you've done something wrong, and 2) They feel like you're not learning from your mistakes or acknowledging that you did something wrong. By asking, "What did I do wrong?" you're confirming the second point: that you aren't learning from your mistakes. If you don't respond at all (and just stay silent), they may misunderstand and think you're being stubborn/defiant, which confirms the second point: that you aren't acknowledging that you did something wrong. By asking a question where you 1) state what you THINK you did wrong, and 2) ask for confirmation, you're communicating with your parents in a more effective manner. You're showing them that you're trying to learn from your mistakes by attempting to identify the problem, and once you identify the problem, you can acknowledge your mistakes and work on fixing them. If you've got it right, your parents can say, "Yes," and then you'll know what to do (or not do) in order to make them happy. If you've got it wrong, your parents can say, "No," and then you can follow-up by asking them to explain the problem to you, so you can acknowledge your mistakes and work toward fixing the problem.






   
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