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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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black_butterfly Offline
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Is there ever a reason? - June 4th 2011, 03:21 AM

So I have this friend, and we get along really well. It's not like those situations where it is clear that she hates my guts. We have a ton to talk about, but it seems like the moment someone else comes to us, she immediately pushes me aside. Also, she would talk over me when I'm trying to say something to the other person. At parties, when everyone is dancing together, we would be next to each other. But then she would extend her arms which effectively blocks me out. Whenever I say that I'm getting along with a guy, then she would just say casually that he ALWAYS talks to her and he ALWAYS pays her 100% of his attention ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Even if I've never seen them together, ever.
I told her one of my secrets from my past as a kid which I do NOT want getting out, but is it wrong if I keep worrying that she would tell?

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Re: Is there ever a reason? - June 4th 2011, 03:45 AM

if she really is your friend and you told her because you trusted her, she most probably wont say anything. if she tells you a lot of things too then you know you can trust her, she may only do those things in public to prove something but im sure she knows how important this secret is to you. and im sure it wont get out
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Re: Is there ever a reason? - June 4th 2011, 08:26 PM

Some people are oblivious to what they're doing (ex. greeting a friend who has just arrived, even if it means interrupting another friend in the middle of a conversation). Other people simply lack manners (ex. talking over other people when they want to say something). Your friend could be so self-absorbed that she doesn't realize what she's doing to you, or she could be an attention seeker who HAS to be in the spotlight and HAS to "top" everyone else (ex. always talking about the boys you mention and stating how she's SO CLOSE to them). So maybe your friend really isn't a "friend", or maybe it's a character flaw on her part. Either way, it couldn't hurt to point those things out to her the next time you see it. As long as you aren't confrontational about it, and you present the facts in a loving manner, your friend should be able to stay calm and process what you're saying. If she reacts angrily, then she's either in denial, or she knows you're right but hates that you're coming across as "better" than her. One type of person can still be called a friend, if they're willing to work toward changing their bad habits... the other type of person really shouldn't be a friend at all.

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friends, reason, trust issues

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