TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
angelfire Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
angelfire's Avatar
 

Posts: 1
Join Date: June 2nd 2011

daddy issues - June 4th 2011, 07:06 AM

so what happens if you havent seen ure dad since u were 9months and now ure mums getting married to another guy and now u start feeling like u love ure dad just a little more agin do u look 4 him or just forget it.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
SparklingWine Offline
Normality, my friends.
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
SparklingWine's Avatar
 
Name: Lynds :)
Age: 27
Gender: Grill ;)
Location: Seattle

Posts: 7,232
Blog Entries: 197
Join Date: February 19th 2009

Re: daddy issues - June 7th 2011, 01:09 AM

I think that is something that you need to decide for yourself. No one can make that decision for you. Do you think that you should look for him. More importantly do you WANT to look for him? I think it's worth a shot. Be prepared for any possible outcome. Let's weight out the pros and cons of both. If you seek him out and find him, you get to see your dad again but you might risk him not wanting to see you. If you don't look for him you will never know how he feels and how it would be to see him again. I think that you should just be prepared for anything. Have support with you throughout this whole experience. Do you have a supportive adult or friend that can help guide you through this, and be emotionally supportive of you? It's natural to be curious about a parent you haven't seen your whole life. Maybe you should talk to your mom about this first. Express to her that you're curious about your father and ask questions about him to her. Ask her where you might be able to locate him. Basically talk to anyone and everyone who you know knows him and gather as much knowledge as you can. Best of luck to you! :]


  Send a message via AIM to SparklingWine Send a message via MSN to SparklingWine  
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,011
Blog Entries: 34
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: daddy issues - June 7th 2011, 01:11 AM

Hello, Angelfire. Welcome to TeenHelp! =)

This is a complex issue for most people, and there's no "wrong" way to feel about the situation. You've never had a "father figure" in your life. You may be close to older male family members, neighbors, teachers, coaches, etc. but because you never knew your father, and because you've never had a stepfather, it's natural to desire that kind of a connection with someone.

First, try to identify why you want to connect with your father at this particular point in time. Perhaps you're thinking about finding your father now because you want to know him before you get to know your stepfather. Maybe you're afraid that, if you accept this "father figure" into your life, you'll be betraying your biological father in some way. Maybe you're worried that you won't get along with your stepfather, and you want to know your biological father so you can talk to him about problems with your mother and her new husband.

Second, try to imagine the various scenarios that could take place, and try to determine your "goals". For example, what if you can't find your father (ex. your mother doesn't want to give you any information, or you can't find any records of your father)? What if you find him, but he doesn't want to have a relationship with you? What if you find him, and you get to know him, but you end up hating him? What if you find him, and you like him so much that you want to spend more time with him (ex. joint custody or full custody)?

Finally, I think it's important to remain hopeful, but also maintain a realistic view of the situation. You say that you "love" your father... but you don't know your father. Is it possible that you just love the IDEA of your father, a man who can do no wrong, a man who can offer support throughout your life? It takes time to develop a real, loving relationship with a person. I'm not saying it can't happen - it definitely can! I'm just saying that it will take some time. He is essentially a stranger to you, so don't assume things will fall into place after meeting him one time. You'll need to be patient with him and accept all the feelings (positive and negative) that could result upon meeting him for the first time.

I wish you all the best. Take care!






   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Meli Offline
Sickening Eyes<3
Not a n00b
**
 
Meli's Avatar
 
Name: Melissa(:
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: In My Own World<3

Posts: 68
Join Date: June 7th 2011

Re: daddy issues - June 8th 2011, 03:10 PM

OMG! I totally know how you feel! My dad left me at 6 months, and I have NEVER met him. I'm 15 now, but when I was 9 my mom decided she was going to get married O.o I was like what?... So now I kinda want to go see him.. See who he is, what he's about, if he actually wants to have a relationship... But my dad is in a different continent all together -_- Like someone else posted, that's a decision you have to make for yourself depending on what you're feeling, but my advice is, remember, he IS your father, and if there was no absue and you just want to see him, go for it(:
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
daddy, issues

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.