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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy wat should i do plz help me - June 6th 2011, 06:27 PM

me and my family are allways arguing and i wanted 2 know if u think this makes me a bad person and weather this is normal or not plz im so confussed because i love them all but wen were in the same room we argue so much
   
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Re: wat should i do plz help me - June 6th 2011, 07:02 PM

Hey there.

your family arguing does not make you a bad person. If they have their differences it's hardly your fault, remember that. I can understand what you're going though but you've done nothing, so don't ever blame yourself. Maybe leave the room if they're arguing or tell them that it makes you uncomfortable. They may realise and not do it while you're around, keep it more private and such.

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Re: wat should i do plz help me - June 6th 2011, 07:11 PM

but they normally argue with me
   
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Re: wat should i do plz help me - June 7th 2011, 02:02 AM

Family members don't always get along, even if you love each other. When parents are stressed out, they tend to argue with their husbands/wives and their children. When children are stressed out (whether it's because of school, friendships, or just "normal teenage stuff"), they tend to argue with their parents and siblings. It doesn't make you a bad person - it's just a fact of life that people argue. =)

Some families argue more often or more intensely than others, though, and that can be unhealthy. So what I would do is make a list. Make three columns: label the first column "before", the second column "argument", and the third column "after". In the "argument" column, list all the things your family argues about. Note what the argument is about, who is involved in the argument, how often the argument takes place, etc. In the "before" column, try to identify what happens immediately before the argument. For example, if your parents are arguing with you, maybe something tends to happen before the argument. Maybe your parents come home from work and are tired, or maybe they notice you haven't done your chores/homework, or maybe something else happens. In the "after" column, try to identify what happens immediately after the argument. For example, after arguing with you, your parents may go watch TV, lock themselves in their room, or you may do something else.

After you've made a list, sit down with your parents and calmly have a discussion about everything you've written down. Together, you three may be able to work out some of your problems and find ways to avoid the arguments. For example, if you know something always happens before a particular argument, you can all avoid that situation and thus avoid the argument altogether. Again, it's natural to have arguments about things, but when it happens constantly or becomes violent or abusive in nature, you need to use effective communication to work through the problems as a family.






   
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Re: wat should i do plz help me - June 7th 2011, 06:45 PM

thanls guys
   
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