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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
BethanyAnn Offline
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Father Doesn't want me anymore - June 6th 2011, 11:27 PM

So as you may know I found my real father, we have been making plans for him to come get me and had it all worked out, now he just sent me text saying he doesn't want me anymore and that life would be better without me?!? It has been 11 years and this has been my dream and now he just doesn't want me. What did I do? How did I not see this coming. Am I just that stupid?


"Have no fear for giving in, Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end, Its better to say too much, Than never to say what you need to say again" - John Mayer

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
SparklingWine Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Father Doesn't want me anymore - June 6th 2011, 11:33 PM

Oh wow. I'm so sorry that he said that to you. You definitely do not deserve that at all. You know, I don't think that it's you at all. Maybe he just isn't ready to be a dad yet. Maybe he isn't mature enough to handle it. But what you're dealing with has got to hurt. I mean, being told that you aren't wanted hurts a lot. It makes people feel like they aren't worth it, or make them feel like they've done something wrong. I can assure you that you've done nothing wrong. You were excited to see your dad, and you did everything you could in the moment that you knew how. Can you lean on extra people for support? What about your mom, or a trusted adult? Don't hold this inside, lovely. You are wanted by sooooo many other people. If he doesn't want you, then his loss! You seem like such a sweet, caring girl. Hopefully one day he comes to his senses. I know how it feels to not have a father, so if you ever need anything, feel free to PM me. <3


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Re: Father Doesn't want me anymore - June 7th 2011, 12:12 AM

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that Bethany! It must come as a terrible blow. Lyndsee is right, maybe he realized what having you in his life would mean. But don't worry, it isn't you at all! Is there someone you could talk to? A trusted adult or a friend? Is your mom in the picture? Could you talk to her? She might tell you things about your biological father, and keep an open mind because if she's in the picture and has been all along, she's only thinking about your best interest.

I apologize if my words weren't as helpful as Lynds', but I have had a father in the picture all twenty seven years of my existence. I don't know what it's like not to have a father and especially not have him want anything to do with me.
   
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Re: Father Doesn't want me anymore - June 7th 2011, 12:27 AM

I am going to talk to my mother tonight, I need to get my thoughts together. My mother and I are very very close and she has told me he was always a lier but I am keeping an open mind here so far he is proving her right.


"Have no fear for giving in, Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end, Its better to say too much, Than never to say what you need to say again" - John Mayer

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Re: Father Doesn't want me anymore - June 7th 2011, 12:55 AM

Just because he gave birth doesn't make him a father. Any idiot can have sex, maybe he is an idiot. Stay hopeful, but it isn't your fault regardless.

- Justin



"Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
Technologic
   
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BethanyAnn Offline
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Re: Father Doesn't want me anymore - June 7th 2011, 06:33 AM

I sat and talked with my mother for hours and cried I got it all out and I feel a little better, but this is going to take time and I sent my father a long extensive e-mail


"Have no fear for giving in, Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end, Its better to say too much, Than never to say what you need to say again" - John Mayer

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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
SparklingWine Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Father Doesn't want me anymore - June 7th 2011, 04:39 PM

I'm glad that you're able to talk with your mom about things like this. I lost my dad to a train, and I'm thankful that I'm close enough to my mom to talk to her about everything. I'm assuming it's the same for you. It's going to hurt for a while, but you're going to get through this. It sounds like you have a great supporter. One day your dad is going to realize what a great girl you are. I just don't think he is ready yet. I hope all is well with you<3


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Re: Father Doesn't want me anymore - June 8th 2011, 02:15 AM

I literally sat down and composed a really long email about the lies he told me over the years and all his excuses and how this was just another one, and with father's day coming up I thought it would be nice to get him something... and I was willing enough to look past his lies and all he did wrong and give him the benefit of the doubt, but he wanted to turn around and say I was the lier and all when how can I lie I havent been here for 11 yrs hes the only one that can make up lies and excuses for not being here.. But at least I know I tried.... And I am sorry to hear about your father if you wanna talk more about it we can, it might help you it helped me to get everything off my chest


"Have no fear for giving in, Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end, Its better to say too much, Than never to say what you need to say again" - John Mayer

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