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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Little Brother jealous of my son and daughter? - June 8th 2011, 05:25 AM

Everyone knows that newborn can be stressful, 2 is definately stressful, my little brothers who are 2 and 3 are very jealous since they have always been my number 1, they even call me mum. Mason who is 2 has autism so its hard to explain it, but I always tell them I love them, my foster mum is helping out and even took my twins for a day so I could spend time with my brothers outright ignore me Ella is quite ill so I need to be with her pratically 24/7 and in September I will be restarting my education. My foster mum has been brilliant and she has helped me all the way, she is helping me become a brilliant mum and a brilliant sister, but I'm scared that my little brothers will hate me. I love my little brothers as if they were my children, I have raised Mason from his first months of life and Andrew since he was 14 months. I don't know how to stop my little brothers from being jealous? thanks in advance...
   
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Re: Little Brother jealous of my son and daughter? - June 8th 2011, 09:22 PM

Congratulations, and best wishes for you and your children. It's never easy to handle lots of kids, especially when two of them are your own. There will be a lot happening for a long while, but make sure you get enough time to relax.

There is no quick solution to stop your brothers being jealous and make them accept their niece and nephew. Don't let them shut you out, and don't give up. Make sure you tell them again and again that you care that much about them, that you love them that much. Mason may struggle but just keep reinforcing that he's still important to you. Don't let them feel replaced. They have more family now.

If you ever get stuck you can always ask your foster mum for advice, and she will be able to help in reassuring Mason and Andrew that you're still there for them. They love you, and hopefully they will learn to love your children too.

Take care Let us know how you get on.
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Re: Little Brother jealous of my son and daughter? - June 9th 2011, 12:31 AM

Dozens upon dozens of books have been written about this. =) It's common for older siblings to feel jealous, isolated, rejected, etc. when a new sibling comes along. The situation is a little different because you're foster siblings, and these children are biologically yours, but you can still address Mason's and Andrew's concerns in the same way you would if they were biologically your children. I'm not a parenting expert, so I'd recommend you buy a book or two on techniques vs. listening to what I have to say. =P But some techniques I've heard of include: making the older children feel needed/important/giving them jobs so they can be the "men of the house", setting aside a particular half hour or hour to be with Mason and Andrew one-on-one, and simply talking to them so they are aware of the situation and know you still care about them. They're young, but you can find ways to communicate with them nonetheless. =D






   
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Re: Little Brother jealous of my son and daughter? - June 18th 2011, 06:11 AM

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