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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ILoveDimaBilan Offline
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Thumbs down He Won't stop hurting me! - March 10th 2009, 06:51 PM

Hey,

My brother is the nicest person in the entire world, he makes me laugh and we're super close! I love him and he loves me ! Everything is usually great between us but then...He usualy hits me and calls me, really evil names and swears at me.

I don't care if it is what brothers and sisters do! I hate it, because unlike him, I don't hit him, I am the one usually with the bruses and suffering low self-confidence

He thinks I'll get over it and I hardly do its just an bottle of pain waiting to explode. When I tell my mum and dad, they say they will do something they don't do anything and it's really starting to annoy me!

The stuff he calls me Fat peice of S***, Fat C***, You lazy piece of Fat F***in' S***, and if he's really angry its stuff like I hope you fall ill, I going to hit you so hard you'll die/ break. I'm going to Break every single tooth in your mouth ....How would you feel if you own brother called you that it happens to some sisters but it really hurts...

The other week a police officer came to my school and told us that we can legelly arrest anyone who does anything bad to us as long as they are over the age of 10, I was really considering going to a police station one day and telling them what he does...

I really don't care if its brother or sister; he's 17! Next year he'll be 18! Even my dad said if he carries on he's going to be a woman beater! I don't want to put my brother in jail but I don't want him to hurt me, I liked it when we're young we always had fun and a laugh.

People keep saying "oh its A level pressure" Well thats hardly it! If he we're more organized he wouldn't have this stupid problem! He leave everything last minute! So if he taking it out on me, Why can't he use a stupid a stupid pillow and I am also sick off hearing Girls mature faster than boys!

I'm sorry if I am complaining to much or being difficult I really truly am but I can't stand it any more! Because I have my own troubles. This is really the last thing I need

Nico
x
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: He Won't stop hurting me! - March 10th 2009, 08:00 PM

Hey hun, don't worry you're not complaining too much at all. This is a place where people come for help ~ please don't ever feel guilty for posting.
I can just imagine how difficult it is for you ~ I'd be hurt if my brother was doing this too ~ but I really think that what you need to do is talk. You say that your brother loves you, so surely he would understand if he was making you feel so bad? Maybe have a word with him and tell hi that it hurts you when he takes things out on you. At seventeen he should be old enough and mature enough to realise that what he's doing is wrong...and stress for the A-Levels is no excuse. My Leaving Cert is in June, but I'm not going around hitting the people I care about...
And if that doesn't work, take it further. Maybe your parents don't realise just how serious the situation is. If they knew that you were considering going to the Police, I'm sure they'd start to take things more seriously. Or is there another adult that you trust, like a family friend or a teacher? The one thing I don't want you to do is stay quiet about this ~ otherwise it could get worse.
Take care
xxxxxxx
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: He Won't stop hurting me! - March 10th 2009, 08:09 PM

I agree with a lot of things bitesize said above this post. Try to get your parents to realize how serious this is and even mention what you heard at school. If they don't do something about it then you'll have to step up and go to the cops. Just like your dad said that if he carries on he'll be a woman beater. Just think, your future sister in law could be getting the same treatment as you are and possibly worse but that could be avoided with you taking a stand now. Plus, you're young, you shouldn't deserve this, no one should at any age. Take a stand.


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: He Won't stop hurting me! - March 10th 2009, 09:40 PM

Hi Nico,

I think you should continue to talk to your parents about this. It's important that they know exactly what your brother is saying to you. I also highly suggest you talk to a school counselor about this if your parents don't do anything. This abuse needs to stop, and sometimes you need outside help to do that.

You really should not have to put up with that from your brother. Tell him to stop whenever he does it, and talk to someone about it. It is abuse and you need to tell someone.

Stay strong and feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

Nat.


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Re: He Won't stop hurting me! - March 13th 2009, 11:58 PM

What he's doing is abuse. Yes, siblings might get in little skirmishes when they're 8 or 11, but hes almost 18 and is doing serious damage! What he's doing is NOT normal and NOT ok. If I were you, I'd try to talk to your parents one more time... tell them exactly whats going on, give them all the gory details... tell them that if things don't get better very soon, you will go to the police. If they don't listen and fix things within a couple days, you should go to the police.
Good luck, and PM me any time!



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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: He Won't stop hurting me! - March 14th 2009, 02:18 AM

Hey Nico.
What your brother is doing shouldn't be thrown aside and blamed on a regular case of sibling rivalry. Maybe you should sit down and have a serious discussion with your parents. Don't just say something like "He always gives me a hard time!" or something. Tell them that he's hitting you, show them if he's bruised you in any areas. Hopefully they will listen. Otherwise, maybe talk to a teacher or a counselor. I know it might seem like a scary thing to do as you don't want to get your brother in trouble, but you don't deserve to be treated the way he is treating you.





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Re: He Won't stop hurting me! - March 14th 2009, 04:45 AM

Hi Nico, have you tried going to a trusted adult? That might be the best thing to do, if your parents aren't listening. There's a very fine line between sibling rivalry and abuse, and what your brother is doing is abuse. My sister was very similar, and she got worse as she got older, because I never told anyone. If he is leaving visible bruises, show your parents or a trusted adult. You shouldn't have to go through this, you shouldn't be your brother's punching bad. I know you love him and don't want him to get in trouble, but you need to look after yourself before he severely hurts you. Pm me if you need to talk or rant.


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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: He Won't stop hurting me! - March 14th 2009, 01:53 PM

One thing I've mentioned it to my french teacher but I doubt he believed me, Then again the time and they voice I used it made me sound like I was kidding, some how he doesn't leave bruses anymore...but I am sorta' worried sometimes... That I'll do something wrong and he'll hit me or call me names again. I've talked to a counciler and she's hardly in to speak to me...
So I guess my last chance is my parents and tell them whats going on.
But thanks soo much guys! it helped loads!
Nico..x
   
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Re: He Won't stop hurting me! - March 16th 2009, 11:02 PM

teachers (and I'm sure counselors) in the U.S. are required by law to report these kinds of things to the proper authorities within 24 hours of hearing of the incident/s. I'm surprised they didn't do something, but i guess the laws are different across the pond...
keep us updated!!
<3



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