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Asuka17 Offline
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Name: Christina
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Denmark

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Join Date: May 14th 2011

Need to get some air - June 12th 2011, 08:15 PM

I am going to tell a bit of my life well a lot might be more correct Well my problems in life start then I was young, then I was 9 my mom left my dad, my 2 brothers and me, no goodbyes no nothing. My brothers are 2 and 5 years younger when me, so I was put into a position as "mom" for my brothers while my dad worked, well to short it out a bit I sort had to become adult way to fast for my own good. I was most way a adult by the age of 12 with the same jobs a normal homewife would had ( without sex) When I became 14 my dad and everything became to much and I could not take it anymore so me and my bf at the time got a place on our own. I was a great felling to get out from the hell it had become at "home". The government took over my brothers, put them in fostercare. I went to a long and hard fight to get permsion to live on my own as long as I accepter that they oversee my income and users, they also has control over where I live and checks up on regulaer basic. My bf left me then I was 15 so I been living on my own since that. But now I am felling so stress out with work + school, I don't want to go to a home and I just never want to go back to my dad, he has said he forgive my for turning him in, but I don't want to go back, we been talking abit over the phone and such, but I just can't forgive him at least not yet. I am still in touch with my brothers but they are also having a hard time and it makes me fell worse becures it fells like if I just had keep fighting when we lived together then they would at least have been happy. But I just don't know what I should do atm so any advise would be very helpfull

True happiness is to
Having a job you love to wake up for
Having someone that love you for who you are
Having a place you can call your own
But must import is to love who you are

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PSY Offline
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Re: Need to get some air - June 13th 2011, 01:41 AM

Hey there, Christina! You can't beat yourself up over what happened. You are a child - you shouldn't have had to take on the role of "mother", no matter what the circumstances were. Your mother let your family down by leaving, and your father let you down as well (even if he was working full-time, he could have asked for help from family members, friends, neighbors, etc. - again, it was not your responsibility to be the "mother"). Your siblings may not understand that now, but they will in the future. They have plenty of reasons to be upset, but being upset because you couldn't replace their mom should not be one of those reasons.

Right now, you need to focus on your own needs and your own goals. Getting through school is vital to your future goals - it will be very hard to find employment if you don't have a degree/certificate proving you completed the basic educational requirements for your country. If you ever want to go on to college, you'll definitely need to get through school. Unfortunately, in order to do well in school, you may need to cut back on hours at work, which may mean you can't pay the bills, which may mean you'll have to live with someone else for the remainder of your adolescent years. Look into your options - if you don't want to live with your father, who would be willing to take you in? If you were to go into the foster care system, what would life be like for you? If you're not ready to forgive your father at this point in time, I understand that, but if living with him is your most favorable option, determine how you would be able to live with him without experiencing too much negativity. That may mean seeing a family therapist in order to work through your conflicts, or it could be something as simple as having your own room and time to yourself, in order to minimize contact while living with your father.

I wish you all the best. <3

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