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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Dark-and-Twisty Offline
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Name: Nicole
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I don't like her. - June 15th 2011, 11:37 PM

So, I have this "friend." She's always taking advantage of my other friend. When she lived on campus, she would always come over only to eat others' food. I never saw her cook anything of her own. Now, still, whenever she's around she expects to be fed.

More recently, I've noticed it becoming a "thing" for her to make people drive her everywhere, and she makes them drop their plans for her. She'll make them run errands for her too, like go shopping for her while she's at work.

It's annoying as hell. Why should anyone have to change their plans to accommodate her?

On top of it, her grades were so low that she was kicked out of college last spring. She can re-enter in the fall, if she gets in.

It's kind of funny. My one friend complains about others taking advantage of other people, yet he lets her walk all over him without a complaint. I want to tell him that she's only taking advantage of him, but she's his friend, and somehow I feel like she's higher on the "friend scale" than I am, just because they've hung out longer. While I've known him longer, as he's informed me recently, he's only really gotten to "know" me over the last couple months. Nonetheless, it does take me awhile to warm up to people.

Whenever she's around, I'm always ignored anyway. There's really no point in me being around if she's there. They say "three's a crowd." In most of my friendships we get along fine if there's three; it's when you throw four into the mix we have problems. Of course, it depends on who it is.

"You say you're all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw, it's a strength. It makes you who you are."

~ Derek, Grey's Anatomy
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SparklingWine Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: I don't like her. - June 16th 2011, 01:38 AM

I would simply let this slide off your shoulders. I think you've done well to ignore this girl, and I feel you should continue to do so. But your other friends, they're going to learn when they learn. And who knows, they might see other things in this girl that you don't see that makes them hang around. And perhaps they don't mind doing things for her. Which, is fine. I think the best thing is to just let them have their friendship with her, and you have yours with them. Keep it separate. Of course you can warn them of her behavior. You can say something like "Hey, I've noticed that this girl does A, B, and C. It kind of seems like she is taking advantage of you." Say it casually and nicely so it doesn't seem like you're attacking her. Because that's when people get defensive and mad. And I doubt you'd want to lose a friend over this. Whatever their reaction is, you just need to accept it. I know it's hard to see your friends get walked over, but they will eventually get it.

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