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toxictragedy__ Offline
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Unhappy To move or not to move. - June 16th 2011, 02:25 PM

last December/January I took a little vacation across the country to visit family. I believe I was gone for a month. When I came back I cried for three days straight and tried to get my grandma to let me move in with her. That didnt work out and eventually I had to deal with it.
At the beginning of this month, I left again to go visit but this time i went to stay with my mom first. And I was only gone for 12 days. I came back and now it's the same thing again, constant crying and not wanting to be here. I miss my mom a lot now.

I don't really know what to do. I want to go live with my mom again because I miss her so much. But then part of me says I shouldn't because I'll lose my job, my mom and I tend to fight a lot, it would break my dads heart, and my mom doesn't even have room for me in her house so I don't really know how that would work out. And also the school I want to go to is in a state closer the the one I already live in.

Anyways, I'm not sure what's more important. Being with my mom and closer to my family, or staying here because I have a job and I'd have to move all my stuff to get there and then back this way for school.


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Re: To move or not to move. - June 16th 2011, 05:56 PM

Hello, Toxic.

I can imagine it's hard to choose between the two. That's why I encourage you to find a way where you can have both! Unfortunately, growing up isn't always easy, because you usually have to cut back on some of the things you enjoy. That may include anything from leisure time, to expensive entertainment items, to visits with other family members. But I am confident that you can find a balance. For example, once you start attending school, you could find a job nearby, save up money, and then use that money to visit other family members during school breaks. That way, you won't have to worry about living with your mom and possibly getting into arguments on a regular basis, but you'll still have the option of visiting her when you have the time to do so. Another alternative could be to go through a trial period with your mom over the summer, and if you decide you can work through your differences and manage to live with her full-time, find another school and job before making the move permanent. You could then visit your dad over the school breaks instead of your mom.

I wish you all the best in finding the solution that is best suited for you. =) Take care!





   
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Re: To move or not to move. - June 18th 2011, 12:25 AM

I lived with my mom my whole life. I've only been with my dad since last August. So this is already sort of new to me. I chose to live with my dad to see what it would be like since I'd only ever spent summers with him and still never really developed any kind of relationship. I'm torn because even though my mom and I fight, she is my mom and I've spent 16 years of my life with her and to all of a sudden not live with her AND have her move across the country is a HUGE change. But at the same time, my dad and I get along even if we aren't as close as we could be, there's no fighting and he pushes me to do things like get my GED and learn to drive more than my mom would.
I don't know if it's coming to me that I should go back with my mom because I miss her so much or if I should stay with my dad because in the future I'll be without both of them anyways...
but I never really miss my dad like this when I'm gone...


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Together we can stop animal cruelty.
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