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CrissyGrey Offline
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Question What do you say to someone who clearly doesn't want help? - June 18th 2011, 02:12 AM

I have a friend who I care about, and I've been tyring to help through some depression and self-harm for a few months now.

I'm completely aware that a friend or family member can only go so far to help someone, because the rest is up to that person.

I feel as if I've wasted enough time and energy on this friend. No matter how much I try to help, she doesn't seem to want it, but always cries for it. I've gotten her to talk to trusted adults and the counselor, but still no help. I've even gotten her mom to take her to a psychiatrist and therapist. I stay on the phone with her, and I talk to her when she needs someone to talk to.

I care very much for my friend, but no matter what I do she doesn't seem to really want help. She prefers wallowing in her depression rather than doing anything. I really don't want to sound like a bitch, but I don't know if I can do anymore to try to help. I can be there as a shoulder to cry on, or someone to vent to, but I really can't help her anymore.

How do I deal with this with my friend? She cries for help, yet when I give it to her, she does not want it.
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Re: What do you say to someone who clearly doesn't want help? - June 18th 2011, 04:10 AM

It sounds like you've already done quite a lot. And as difficult as it may be, the only thing you can do (which you've already been doing) is be there for her.

My best friend was the same way, so I know how taxing this can be to your mental/physical health (say shes calling you at 3 AM to talk because she's upset or something). It's extremely difficult for me to accept now, but you can't do anything more besides be there for her and if things get really bad going to her parents and making sure they're aware of what she's said/done (in life/death situations). A person has to want to be helped in order to be helped.

PM/VMe if you ever need to vent - I'll gladly listen and offer any advice I have.

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It's time for letting go
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Now you know"♪♫
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