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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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I've been a complete idiot - June 18th 2011, 12:23 PM

I got really drunk and ended up having a massive fall out with my best friend. I started an argument but I have no idea what about, I can only remember being outside of a club as I wasn't allowed in (said I'd had too much to drink) so I asked my friend to come home with me. She wouldn't and this may have been where the argument started, but I'm unsure. That then ended in her storming off to get the bus with me and 2 other friends following. I sat down next to her and she then moved to a different seat opposite instead. I stayed where I was sat but tried to talk to her, as it was quite clear she was really annoyed. She wouldn't listen to anything I said which, having had too much to drink, frustrated me. There was a woman on the bus listening and she started calling my friend, which really didn't help in making her feel any better. Now I don't know exactly what we was arguing about but that woman also took 'my side' which while drunk I liked, yet when she called her I did try to stick up for her but my friend wouldn't listen. I stayed on the bus to get off at my friends stop to see if she would then talk but that didn't happen. We just argued all the way back to her house (I wish I knew what about) with myself in tears. This is where it gets really embarrassing and over the top. I can remember being at her door still asking to talk, yet obviously not totally in control of my emotions, I'm assuming I was talking a bit louder than usual while crying. She said if I don't go she will shout her mum. She then went to shout her so I started to go, but she still shouted up to her. The door was then locked and I stood for a little bit outside of her house not really sure what to do with myself. I think I looked through her letterbox to see if she was there and still calling for her. I started to walk away from her house and for some reason decided to ring her. She never picked up and then when I was walking away I turned around to see her mum standing at their door step. I don't if she saw me or not, but she didn't look happy from what I could see before I quickly carried on walking and went home. I got a text off her this morning saying that her mum doesn't want her to go out with me anymore, that I need help and the things I said hurt her. I don't remember what I said to her, which doesn't help. Of course I apologised and told her I'm so embarrassed and I'm sorry to her mum too. But she said it was too late and that she's heard all this before. We've had arguments when drunk before, although her mum has never gotten involved, which seems why this time it's different. I have no idea what to do, I'm so embarrassed and sad too thinking that this could be the end of our friendship. We've both finished college now so she could easily avoid me for the rest of her life really. We do both work at the same place but I called in sick today, because I was too embarrassed to see her and I don't think I would've been able to keep myself together knowing we might not be friends anymore. Plus the fact I have a hangover from hell. I really don't know what to do and I know it's all my fault =\
   
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Re: I've been a complete idiot - June 18th 2011, 07:55 PM

I wish I could tell you how to fix this situation. Sadly, I'm not sure that's possible. You mentioned this wasn't the first time you got drunk and had an argument with your friend. Oftentimes, we like to believe that, no matter how badly we mess up, our friends will always forgive and forget. Unfortunately, there's always a limit, a "final straw", and you may have reached that point with your friend.

All you can do is tell your friend (and her mom) that you're sorry once again, then hope for forgiveness and carry on with life. Go to work - don't let the embarrassment of this situation interfere with other areas of your life. Yes, it's a shame that your friend is upset with you, possibly to the point where she doesn't want to associate with you anymore... but we all make mistakes, and the important thing is to learn from those mistakes. Monitor your drinking habits in the future, so you don't have to face this particular situation again with other loved ones. The potential consequences simply aren't worth it - remind yourself of that whenever you feel tempted to have that third/fourth/fifth drink.

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I hope things eventually do work out with your friend. At the very least, you can rest assured that you did everything you could to make amends, and that you are now doing everything you can to learn from this experience and grow as a person.





   
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