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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Symmy Offline
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Name: Symantha
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How to Save My Sister - June 18th 2011, 11:08 PM

I hate my dad. He only cares about himself, blames us for everything, and fights about everything with my mom, who I feel bad for. Recently he started drinking. Just a few months ago, he realized that he can torture all 4 of us family members by completely sucking up to my sister. She's 12, but he treats her like she's some cute little 8-year-old. She just goes with it and enjoys it all. However every time they do this everyone else in the house, including me, get mad at both of them. It makes us hate both of them more and more each time, because they usually do it by teasing the rest of us. For a long time we were the "JA Herd(jackass herd)" and they thought it was the funniest thing ever.

I haven't been the nicest sister ever. I've said a lot of mean things that I need to keep to myself, because her physical disability frustrates me. It makes her walk on her toes all the time, and shes also the only one not in honors classes. Classic middle-child syndrome. Because of my crap, she wont listen to a word I say. She's told us outright that my dad is the only one who doesn't hate her, all because he treats her like a little kid and buys her stuff. He's ruining her brain! She's going to Junior High, and there's no one to tell her to brush her hair, or put on deodorant, or take care of herself. She already has no friends between her weird looking disability and her attitude.

How can I save her? If she will only listen to my dad, she's basically living without friends or a proper parent. I can't usefully talk to my dad or her. What do I do?
   
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Re: How to Save My Sister - June 19th 2011, 05:34 AM

Hey Symantha,
Firstly, you'll have to understand that your sister is 12, and she is still a child. Of course, she will need to get proper care by a parent, which is not happening by your father. Have you talked to your mother about the situation? Has she ever considered leaving him? I wouldn't stay if I were in his shoes, no matter how difficult it can be.
However, you have to understand that your sister is going to love the attention. She's under the impression she isn't liked, since you don't understand what she is going through. There is nothing wrong with having a physical disability. It might make her different than everyone else, but she doesn't have to be in honors classes, or walk perfect to be liked. You haven't been a good sister in this sense, so I think trying to reconcile with your sister, and trying to be there for will help her understand that your father is using her for his sick, manipulative mind games.
I wish you the best of luck in this situation. Remember, talking to your mom is going to be the best bet for you.











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