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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
take me as you found me.
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Name: Becca
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Contemplating running away. - June 19th 2011, 05:12 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Things are really rough around my household and I'm in an environment that's very unsafe for me.
I get a lot of emotional and verbal abuse from the people that live in my house: my mom, dad, and my sister.
I honestly can't take it anymore.
Yeah, I have two months until college and I go away.
But there's still some issues with that.
First of all, these first two months are summer break. I'm entirely at home.
I can't get a job around here.
I can't really "go out" whenever I want because I don't have my license.
I don't have my license because my parents and I fight too much for them to give me lessons without me having an anger/panic attack.
Secondly, I still have to go home. I still have to deal with my family during breaks and stuff.
I don't want to deal with them at all. Ever.
No. It's not that I don't want to deal with them, it's that I CAN'T.
Not without hurting myself.
Or wanting to kill myself.
Or wanting to hurt someone else.

I'm considering running away. I'm not sure where.
I'm eighteen; I'm a legal adult.
But I'd have to give up my college education.
I'd have to disconnect from everyone I love.
(And we're already in the middle of a screaming argument, me vs. my mother, great.)
I don't have resources - somewhere to stay, a job, etc.

I just... I don't know. I really don't know what to do. I'm at a loss.
If you guys support my decision, resources would be nice.
If you don't, some advice would also be very very helpful.
Thank you guys.

when you love and laugh abundantly you live a beautiful life.
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Re: Contemplating running away. - June 19th 2011, 06:35 PM

Hey, Becca. You definitely need a plan, but we can't tell you what plan would be best for you. What I would do is take a look at everything that is available to you. You can rule your immediate family out, but what about extended family? Friends? Perhaps adult mentors that you trust? Perhaps it would be possible to stay with someone for a while - if not for the entire summer, then at least for a few days here and there, or 1-2 weeks at a time. Give yourself a break from the crazy life at home. More importantly, though, you can use those people for emotional support. You don't have to give up everything when you "run away" from your immediate family - you still have people who love you and care about you.

There are government programs available to adults. I'll admit that they won't be as generous with you because you're not on unemployment, suffering from a physical disability, etc. BUT you can go to employment agencies and find temporary work. They can also help you with your resume and offer general tips on how to find jobs, what to say/how to act during interviews, etc. Once you find work (whether it's before or after moving out of your parents' house), you can start to save up for college, or whatever other expenses you have (should you decide to put college on hold).

If you decide to go to college, there should be free psych services available to students. Set up an appointment right away, explaining that you've been dealing with abuse at home and need to figure out how to deal with it during school breaks. If you decide to put college on hold, come up with a plan. What is your end goal? It's okay to not have an end goal (ex. get ____ job), but always keep your mind open to new possibilities and keep an eye open for new opportunities.

I wish you all the best, Becca, and I'm truly sorry to hear about your situation. =(

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take me as you found me.
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Re: Contemplating running away. - June 19th 2011, 06:41 PM

Thank you so much. <3
I think I may technically qualify for disability since I do have bipolar disorder.
My plan was to go somewhere kind of far. A big city. Chicago, maybe, or Seattle.
I do have around $1,000 saved up. Actually a little more than that.
I don't want to stay with extended family or friends because they're all in this area.
I need to get out and I don't want to be found.

I guess my general plan was to find somewhere to stay in a place that somewhat understands my situation.
Then find a job.
Then start saving.
I'm willing to put college and everything on hold.
I just need to be out of here.

when you love and laugh abundantly you live a beautiful life.
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